Under my Hat

I've went out on a few  dates lately... but even though they seemed to go well.... I just don't feel a "click" ...I'm just being me... not putting on any kind of front... and I've learned I don't have a whole lot in common with many people... I have made a couple of friends... but I don't see anything long term happening. It's not that they aren't attractive... because they are... I think part of it is being conditioned by the sites to believe I can be and interact in a certain way... and that's okay... Online dating is soooooo much easier than offline dating. ...but I've said I'm not going to dwell much on relationships in this blog anymore... doesn't mean I won't be throwing thoughts out there from time-to-time... I still want to be open with what's going on inside my head... I have just learned to quell the negativity... and it is working very well.. I actually feel much more optimistic.. I feel more productive.. a...

I seem to be falling into a comfortable position in my new house. I haven't exactly got everything down, but I seem to be able to see me living here for awhile. I am thankful for a lot of what I have in my life at the moment. I'm still saddened occasionally that my daughters aren't around, but I will see them next month.  I need to start doing a bit of Christmas shopping and obtaining birthday presents. I know it's not all about gifts. I don't want them to think I've forgotten about them. ...at the same time I don't want them to think I'm trying to buy their love. I think with just about any divorce there is that fine line we have to walk to keep that balance. I would love to spend more time with them but they are so far away.  My ex and I had a talk about 2 weeks ago... and she said some things that hurt a bit, but she was right.... I wasn't a major part of my kids lives when I was home... I spent too much time at work... now I can't just expec...

Worked half a day today... then came home and worked around the house... now I'm debating going out and doing a bit of shopping. I find lately that I get charged up... only to drain fairly quickly. I think maybe I should remove myself from negative influences, but then I'd have to quit my job... it gets very negative there at times.. Luckily I can sustain a pretty positive environment... at least for awhile... then I start feeling the drain.  I refuse to give in completely though.. because I love this positive reflection I see when I stare in the mirror lately. It does make me a bit sad when I think of all the people who trick themselves into living in a state of negativity on a continual basis. It really is a choice... no matter how we choose to look at it... You can be happy with what you have.. and enjoy it... or you can look for more and more... and never really be truly happy.  I am not certain if I'm destined for happiness as it stands now... but I know if I stayed i...

I sometimes wonder what I'm going to say next... is that common? We all go about the course of our day with no idea in which direction it will go. Most of us are more guarded as we grow older... until sometimes we tend to harden ourselves too much. You may know some people like that.. I was heading in that direction, but am trying to put a stop to it.  I am not sure what the male equivalent of "old cat lady" is... but it's not what I want to be.  besides... I am not a big fan of having indoor cats, anyway.  I realize there is still much left in life to explore, so even though I might not get around to delving into a whole lot of exploration, I have made it a choice to be open and optimistic.. but being smart about it all. I am not exactly certain how Christmas is going to go yet, but I'm working on a few contingency plans since that lottery idea seems to have fallen through.... and I'm not cut out to be a Deuce Bigalow...  I am finding it much easier to hav...

It seems as though I have been Netflix binge watching for the last little bit.  It goes to support my ideology that if you let one thing control your life, you're going to not be productive. I am cutting down on my Netflix now.. and will concentrate on the more productive aspects of my life for a bit.. even though occasionally, one must make time for the frivolities that give our minds some "down time".  I have pretty much recuperated from my training last week, but I still have several things at work to catch up on.. it's not like I'm ever going to get completely caught up there... as I still have too many positions to cover in an 8 hour day. I will figure it out though... I always do. I had someone recently tell me that I seem to make assumptions at times... I have learned that I best get along with people who can actually speak their mind without hiding things for such a long time.  I don't get my feelings hurt when someone can be bluntly honest with me ...