Just Suck It Up.

So... yesterday went okay... I didn't pick many fights.. although my exposure to people was very light.  I am in a less hostile mood today.  I don't know where those feelings come from... and I really don't want to know.  I was just thinking about empowering people to make what I feel is stupid decisions.. is making me a contributing factor to all the crap.  I need to stop that.  If someone wants to destroy or impede their life.. by all means.. they should go ahead and do it.. but I don't want to be involved in supporting their downfall.  I feel like very few people in the world actually take the time to think through decisions... and sometimes they are bombarded by the fallout and don't realize it's the decisions they made long ago that caused it all in the first place.  Well.. wake up people.. you can't blame fate for something you've set in motion yourself... well.. I suppose you can blame whatever or whoever you want.... but that doesn't mean you have any solid ground to stand on in your accusations. Most everyone can't see the future... and maybe that is a really good thing.. because once certain actions are made.. the course of time is inevitable.... we can try to make adjustments.. but that's all we can do in most cases.   People should be thankful that it isn't much worse than it is... because I know I've said it many times.. "It can always be worse" ...I truly believe that.  Yes.. I join the pity party on occasion... "with poor me.. I've been so wronged" ...well.. what does that have to do with anything... people are going to do negative things all your life.. and you can only try to avoid them after that... so they can't do more damage.. other than that.. you can't change what's been done.. so why waste effort on it.  I have done wrong to some people in my life.. some I consider.. or considered friends.. and I realize I was wrong for it... I have no shame in admitting that.. as we all make mistakes.. there are other people in my life who I have done wrong.. in retaliation for what I feel was wrong actions against me.. I have to apologize for that too.. I apologize that I'm not strong enough to turn the other cheek.. but truth be told... I can't offer much of an apology seeing that I'd probably do the same thing again.. knowing that it isn't the right thing to do... because I know I don't always do the right thing..   but I do what it takes for me to be able to cope with things... it's just sometimes that people get into the line of fire.. and the return fire is the worst.. because I don't really aim.. I just let things fly.   I rarely get angry or upset.. but it has been known to happen... I don't like it when it does.. but I've learned to bury it pretty quickly.. I'm not angry at anyone now.. haven't been for a long time... but that doesn't mean that I don't get disappointed or hurt.. I will continue to follow what I consider my best course of action to support myself and my mental well being... everyone who doesn't like that.. just suck it up.