Mentally Stable or Not.

Yesterday drained a lot out of me.. sometimes I think... maybe I am getting too old.. You know the old saying.. you're only as old as you feel.. well.. I'm sorta feeling it now. I spend a little time on the sites.. but not enough to get anything out completely... I banter every once in awhile... and then log off.. I really don't care who I banter with.. it's a nice social interaction.. and I banter with the guys as much as the gals.. because I'm not wanting anyone on the sites to think I have more than a passing interest in them. I enjoy the communication I get on rare occasions, but I'm not going to get sucked into the world of the online and lose myself... I've almost done that in the past.  It's all about maintaining that balance I've talked so much about... well.. I"m doing a shitty job of achieving that balance in my offline world.. why should I think I can do it online.  My spouse and I are talking a little more.. and several of our conversations are about where I think I'm going... I honestly don't know at this point.. but I'm continuously perusing the usajobs website for the government positions. I am thinking maybe I need to focus more on my training and get through the qualifications I need to obtain one of these jobs I want.  I have so much I can do if I just obtain my security+ certification.  I'd like to to that.. but as I said.. sometimes I feel my age now.. and am not all that certain I have the time or mental faculties to acquire what I wish.  I like the mental banter of the site, because I think it helps sharpen my wit.  I have a tendency to say whatever pops into my head.... and to be honest.. I like that. I don't want to be stifled in my remarks.. I don't want to watch what I have to say to whomever I want to say it... it's a refreshing feeling sometimes.. Do I always mean everything I say there?... of course not.. like in the "Sometimes I..." thread... my response was.. "see the dog licking his balls and wish I could do that... but I'm sure he would bite me"  ... well.. there's no way I would want to lick a dog's balls.. and I seriously doubtful I would lick my own.. although at times... there might be some question about it. I haven't had the physical contact in quite sometime..   I am glad my "condition" has been treated.. as all is completely well.. and I'm feeling very good about my penis now.. That sounds sort of strange when I  say it... "My penis feels good"  "I'm feeling good about my penis"  ...no.. I'm not a mental case.. but if I were.. I don't think I would know it.. most people with mental issues never really know they have mental issues.. because if they knew the proper way to act.. then they would.. I suppose on rare occasions people would say or do things they know is not right... but couldn't stop themselves.. but I've always felt fairly well in control of my mental faculties.. although.. there are occasions that have arisen that have caused me mental anguish enough to know.. but not care.  I think we all do that from time to time. We all lose ourselves and then look at what we've said or done and wonder where we went for that period of time.  I honestly miss certain times of my life.. and am sad that they're over... but I have to accept what is my life.. and how I am.. and keep trodding on... mentally stable or not.