Use The Force

When I started this blog... wayyyyyy back when... I was going to use it to post my witticism. Something happened along the way and I started using it as a therapeutic output to get my mind in focus.... Sometimes I used it to try to send subliminal messages to people I thought were reading it... talk about passive.... there's a huge example of things I hate to see from others.. and I was doing it myself.  But my life is getting back on track.. and I've been able to be more honest with myself... and others.
I suppose it goes without saying I am still nowhere near where I want to be... but each day is a journey and I'm now enjoying that journey much more than I was before.  Dad went home today... so I'm feeling much, much better.  I thought I was coming down with a cough... but it seems to be going away.  Maybe it was sympathy cough due to my dad having it. He claims it was sleeping in my uncle's cold apartment... but I didn't think it was all that cold.  He has a tendency to be negative about most things.... I may get part of my cynicism from him... but he is a wonderful person... very generous.   I had to throw that in there to keep with my new year's resolution of being positive.  I think that might be a bit harder than I first suspected... but at least I'll try to keep with it.. even if I fall off track on occasion.  We are a sum of our actions... even if we do things we shouldn't... we can always get back on track... we all make mistakes and shouldn't dwell on those mistakes.
So today is a new day... a new year... January 1st... and it has lots of potential.. I am going to try to be more direct.... more focused... we'll see how that goes.  There goes my cynical nature... but it's completely under control... I sorta like my cynicism..

I am still being contacted by a few old friends.... and they keep reminding me of how dependent we are on others... or at least they are.  I have made many decisions to change my life for the better...and some of them were successful. ...highly successful.  I guess I still make a few decisions based on other people. My move here was based on myself... and it cost me a relationship... whether that was a good or bad thing... is still yet to be completely determined... but if she couldn't stick with me when I followed decisions based on my needs... I'm leaning more toward it being a good thing. I still care about all the people I've met... and worry about them from time-to-time.  Even those I was never involved with. We touch so many lives and influence people by our actions... our words... I think most everything happens for a reason... even if we don't mean to do so. Maybe it's sorta like Star Wars... The Force... an invisible connection between each person and object on the planet.... I mean we share atoms with everything else... some are absorbed on a molecular level... and the interaction is obvious.... food.. drink... but then others maybe just by absorbing the atoms around us... and then there is the possibility of psychic connection.. that opens up a whole new world. I sometimes wonder if there are those that can manipulate this force... well.. manipulate has such a negative connotation. I think more like .... interact with it on a stronger, more noticeable level would better describe the idea I'm trying to convey.  It's nice to think about but sounds like something out of a science fiction novel or movie.... I will make the positive changes I can... and do what I can... and that's all I can do. I still keep my kmshirley@gmail.com email address and on occasion I do get an unsuspected contact... but I don't push any interaction... I do enjoy hearing from my friends... I don't need anything from anyone but keep my interaction positive.... with everyone.  Maybe someday I can say I've made a positive impact on most anyone I've met.... until then, I'll just keep trying to "Use the Force".