I Am An Appreciative Person.

Worked half a day today... then came home and worked around the house... now I'm debating going out and doing a bit of shopping. I find lately that I get charged up... only to drain fairly quickly. I think maybe I should remove myself from negative influences, but then I'd have to quit my job... it gets very negative there at times.. Luckily I can sustain a pretty positive environment... at least for awhile... then I start feeling the drain.  I refuse to give in completely though.. because I love this positive reflection I see when I stare in the mirror lately. It does make me a bit sad when I think of all the people who trick themselves into living in a state of negativity on a continual basis. It really is a choice... no matter how we choose to look at it... You can be happy with what you have.. and enjoy it... or you can look for more and more... and never really be truly happy.  I am not certain if I'm destined for happiness as it stands now... but I know if I stayed in the mode I was in not so long ago... it was a path of self-destruction.. and I am responsible for how I respond to things.. both positive and negative.

I have not pushed myself into decorating yet.. but I hope to start that soon.. I really haven't felt the need to push myself in any direction.  Sometimes it takes a person a bit of time to get his/her bearings before starting in any direction. I do feel something a bit more solid.. just by saying this place is mine... well even if I owe a bit on it.. it really is my place.  No one is coming to give me grief on how I live... I don't have people on the other side of the wall paying attention to everything that is happening... there seems to be a bond forming between me and my house. I can appreciate that. I appreciate all the steps that led me to this point.  I am an appreciative person.