Learning From Some Of Them.

Tomorrow will be 7 years since my mom passed away.. and I still can't compose myself when I think about it. I don't think a person ever gets used to that kind of loss. I miss her often. I try to reverse the roles, as it is what I always tell others to do, but it's difficult not to grieve. I will always carry that hole inside my heart with me.. I sometimes hope that I can get over it.. and move on, but I don't want to move on.. the loss is a part of who I am. I think more appropriately that I just want to learn to accept the loss and live with it without so much pain when I think of my loss. I feel like sometimes I try to distract myself from deep emotions. I know I have a large degree of humor I call on to help with that. It's much more pleasant to laugh rather than cry. I have this strong exterior in front of my friends and family... and that's part of who I am also. I don't like depending on anyone else for support. I am more comfortable being that person who doesn't share... at least not with someone who isn't an intimate part of my life on a daily basis.

I look back and see many mistakes in my life. I continue to make them...but at least I'm hopefully learning from some of them.