Set Some Standards People.

I've always wondered why people can't see themselves from the outside looking in... sometimes I wonder if I have that same issue... I mean if so many people can't see it.. who's to say that I don't?  I have students that I sit with and counsel... and when I try to be general and not insulting, they don't usually catch on that they have some of the same characteristics I'm talking about... I think that's the way of most people though... and since I see that in most people... I sometimes wonder if I'm not like that myself....   I'm no longer on a road to enlightenment... I'm not even sure if I'm on a dusty path anymore... all I know is that I keep moving forward... if only a step at a time.  I have sort of lost track with my diet.  I've not gained a whole lot yet.. but I have let a few pounds pile back on... I think part of that is stress.. and part of it is a somewhat lower self-esteem...  That's going to sound strange, because I really think I'm an awesome person... but I tend to worry sometimes that I'm not good enough to ever break out of the rut I'm in.

Sometimes I just wake up... and I want to knock some sense into some people... but I'm not a violent man by nature... I think that a hand upside the head would be the only way to reach some people.  I then look at myself.. and I know I don't listen to certain people... I have always been stubborn and headstrong about certain things... and there are just a few things I'm sure I'll never change my attitude toward... I have certain pet peeves... and no matter how hard I try... I be very accepting of certain behaviors..  Lying.. that's a big one.. one that I struggle with daily.. because I don't want to be in this house.. and any time I say that I'm okay... I'm not... I am fed up with being here.. and waiting...  Tardiness... it seems as though society in general has a belief that being late is okay... it's not.. in a sense it's a lie in itself... you make a commitment to be somewhere at a certain time... and by not showing up then.. you are not being true to your word.. My sister is the worst person I know when it comes to that... I know she's busy... but she always comes up with an excuse... oh.. this happened.. or .. that happened... I always have learned to accept that she's always going to be late... I don't ever trust what she tells me is accurate as far as time is concerned... there have been times I just want to scream at her... buy a fucking watch!!!  but I know she knows the time.. she just mismanages her time so badly that unforeseen circumstances will throw her late consistently. Wasting food....  I know that seems a bit petty... but I've seen people who will go to buffets.. and fill their plate.. eating just a little bit and then leaving a fairly full plate as they go back for more... This irks me to no end... I understand that certain things might not be cooked properly.. or that something didn't taste quite like what someone thought it would.. but it goes way beyond that.. with some people it's on a regular basis... my spouse especially..  The longer I live with my spouse.. the more I realize there are so many things that bother me about the way she behaves... I'm tolerant in that I don't say anything anymore... because I know she's not going to change.. With most people it's pointless to address certain behaviors, as they won't change, anyway.   The people in my life that exhibit certain behaviors.. well.. I've learned to live with those behaviors.. although I will never be completely accepting of them... in which case I just avoid talking about them.  I tend to focus more on the negative things at times... mainly because negativity is what I keep trying to overcome... to fix.. although I've learned in no uncertain terms that most things can't be "fixed".  I just keep banging my head mentally against the wall.. It's a good thing I don't hold people accountable for every little thing... although I've run into some people who are like that.  Still the lackadaisical attitude that seems to be the norm is very frustrating at time.  Set some standards, people.