Only The Good Will Be Left.

So.. I've been doing all this extra work... and on Friday I got kicked in the teeth... I finally got my review.. and my supervisor gave me "meets expectations" on all three areas I was evaluated in.. First... is concerning my support in the center in it's overall mission... which is measured in numbers... well.. out of over 1600 trades at the 125 centers, my trade is ranked number 12.. boosting the center's numbers well beyond the scope.. so what more do they want out of me?... what else could I do besides that?  I have to be higher than the top 1%?  secondly.. they talk about effectively carrying out the duties of my trade.. I have done everything asked of me plus about 30 other things that I documented for them... on a regular basis.. I've taken on several other roles other than my own...  lastly... is teamwork and partnerships... I dare them to find one person on the whole center who I haven't done several things outside the scope of my work... plus I have worked with the community to promote the center by taking students down to assist in community service projects for the past 10 years. so.. I get no rating beyond "just doing what I'm supposed to be doing" ...nothing extra.. okay.. if they want to play it that way.. I'm done doing any extra.. let them have it. I'm looking to get out of there as soon as possible anyway.  I almost had a meltdown on Friday.. I wanted to leave.. but I wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of chasing me away.. I am finished doing all the extra computer work on center.. I'll teach my class... and do an awesome job at what I'm supposed to do.. the rest .. they can find some other patsy to do it.  I'm done.

So now I truly need to get away from here... before it starts bringing me down.  I have the support I need in my life so that I don't feel it will actually make a lasting scar.. but it did cut me deeply.  I have a few things in the works that may help out a bit... but there's nothing settled in several different areas... What is strange.. is that even though there are a lot of negative things happening in my life now.. it's all okay.. I can withstand it all.. only because I have someone who gives me hope for the future. I will say it's a lot on me too.. but I have never been this.. confident in how things will turn out.  Some people are still thinking it's only temporary.. but honestly.. I don't ever see this ending. I find it strange how closely matched we are in our thought patterns.. and I am not changing.. just allowed to be myself and who I want to be.... and I'm accepted for that. It's wonderful.

I've still got my sore throat.. coughing a bit this weekend.. it's wearing me down a bit... but again.. I don't mind.. the world is good and all the crap will fade away with time. ...and only the good will be left.