I'm Too Old To Develop That.

Finally... semi-caught-up at work.. and there is talk of overtime opening up... we'll see how that goes.  I will be happy to be away from the house more while my dad is here.. I got everything lined up for repair to my vehicle... and the insurance got the rental scheduled... so all is good there.. I don't seem to be having any luck with my insulin injections so far.. they haven't hurt.. but they haven't helped either... so I need to contact my endocrinologist and see what he has to say.  I am a bit anxious for the warm weather to get here so I can get a bit more exercise...

I am logging into the flirting sites... just to get the witty remarks out of my system... I don't have much social interaction these days... just a few texts on occasion... but I can live with that. Dad hampers my mood for social interaction anyway.  I know at some point he won't be with us anymore... or at least that's probable... with my luck he will outlive me.. I don't actually feel like I can live my life until then.

I have these thoughts in my head... always battling it out... of maybe I should open the door and try to invite someone into my life.. in more than a friend status... but then I come to my senses and realize that only invites heartache and misery at some point.. I think our society has come to a point where relationships are looked at as disposable... my mind just can't wrap around that. It is my opinion that these lifelong soulmates are a thing of the past.. we are all spoiled to wanting more than we have. It takes many years and hard work to develop a deep, wonderful, meaning relationship... and let's face it.. I'm too old to develop that... 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Everyone has an agenda.

How do we know how what repercussions will arise tomorrow from our actions.  I am atop my tower... watching the world from up here.. I see so much lies and deceit from up here.. I honestly do trust a few people now.. to a varying degree.. I just don't know when they can be sucked into a situation.. or do things they wouldn't normally do... based on misinformation.. or their perception.. I see so many people get tricked.. into making poor decisions.. People are gullible. The world is full of traps and deception. I think sometimes people get the idea that life is a game.. that dating requires intimacy... I see people start into online relationships.. and they figure that the first thing on the agenda is to explore the sexual chemistry... online relationships.. if they're truely ever going to mean anything.. need to be treated like real life.. you don't just jump into bed with someone you are just getting to know..  the online world.. moves at a much slower pace.. as far a...
Read more

Better Off Without Me In It.

When I read over some of my past blog entries... I feel like I come across as psycho-depressive.  Sure...I'm not as optimistic as I once was... but life tends to do that to people over a period of time.. There really isn't much wrong with me other than having a very cynical viewpoint on life. I don't mean to make it seem like I've been done wrongly.. or that I am never going to function in life.  I know a lot of what I post is about how I am okay.. but I can't stress that enough.  I don't really need much more than I have now.. except maybe a change of scenery with where I am living.  Any one of you who has felt trapped in a room for years and years would probably come across being just as cynical. ...I am not saying I've had it worse off than anyone else.. I'm just saying my experiences have been different... so to judge who I am.. or what I am.. or am not capable of.. is completely unfair.. of course... life is pretty much given to be unfair in the fir...
Read more