Under my Hat

This seems to be the slowest month of my life.. doesn't it always seem as though you are waiting for something, time just works against you.. just to make you wait that much longer... I am still working each day... but they've cut any overtime for anyone.. since the government is out of money. I'm looking for them to announce something about cutting the center maybe during the first half of July. if not.. then August at the latest.. we have a review scheduled for then.  I believe a lot of people around here are sort of weary at having to do so much  with so little resources.. For now.. it's business as usual.. that's what they pay me for. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon.. so I will head out just a little early today.  My father got wind of it.. and doesn't trust me to be able to drive by myself... and since he doesn't have my nieces and nephews to pick up (they're out of school) ...he has free time to come by and go to my appointment.....

so... sometimes I can come off as a bit.. elitist.. I am aware of that.. I tend to be a bit... self-centered at times.. and focused only on things in my life.  I actually believe we should all be that way... to a point.. if we don't take care of ourselves.. we miss out.. not saying that we should trounce the people around us..  but it seems pointless not to take care of ourselves... I love doing things for others.. and being there for my friends..  I do sometimes try to take the path of least resistance.. and in doing so.. sometimes cause more headaches in the long run.. but I know what I need to do.. and feel I have the support of the people in my life to get those things done.  I feel like I am still in limbo sometimes... and wish so much to get on with my future.. I want to explore possibilities.. and be more active.. I am sometimes resentful for having to sit and wait.. but I should only hold myself responsible for that.  We all make our beds.. and then we h...

So.. it's been awhile.. I realized that I am just regurgitating the same stuff.. over and over again.. just in a slightly different format. ...and I am becoming formalized in my blogging.. instead of keeping it true to my feelings.. so I need to try not to post.. just to be posting.  I don't know how frequently I will post at the moment.. but I figure that will work it's way out. Where I work.. is still possibly closing.. they're out of money... well.. not out but.. anything spent has to be an emergency and has to go through umpteen hundred channels of red tape. The whole program at all 125 centers were cut.  I am looking for major changes to take place in the next year.. and to be perfectly honest.. I wish they'd just announce it.. if they're going to.. we had to alter summer vacation for the students because we didn't have the money to pay for their transportation home.  So this next year.. on top of being cut even more.. is going to start out even that ...

So.. I haven't posted in almost a week. I have had a few.. hectic mornings.. but for the most part... I just haven't really felt like posting.  I'm at odds with the way I feel about that..  On one hand, I feel that it needs to be a regular therapy..sort of like a daily bath.. a cleansing of the soul perhaps.  On the other hand.. I don't think it should be a chore.. something to do for the sake of just.. blogging. I'm certain there's a happy medium in there somewhere. I said that I haven't felt like posting.. I suppose, at times, I have... I just don't really know what I want to get out of my system.  I have people in my life.. that support me.. but it seems like many people are involved in their own life.. and some are distancing themselves from me.  I completely understand it if someone feels the need to do that.. but I am not chasing anyone out of my life.. nor do I want anyone to leave. It does irritate me somewhat when people feel the need to take th...