Waiting For The Next Act
Well... 2015 is finally gone... and I by some miraculous event I survived. I certainly hope 2016 brings less physical, emotional, financial, and psychological turmoil to my life. If it adds much in any of these categories, I'm in for a very rough year. I continue to take out what life dishes to me... and I'll ask for more. I don't feel like I've had a horrible year... just one that bordered on chaos most of the time. I continue to believe I will move forward, but I know it'll continue to take effort as well.. and without a few things in my corner to support me... I don't know how much of that is possible. I still feel like I'm alone most of the time in my world.. and that's okay... I've come to accept that.. and even have gotten comfortable with it. I choose my path... and it's a matter of consequences based on my actions and decisions... as most people's paths are... but I tend to get tossed about most of the time.. only making the decisions and taking the actions I feel are in my best interest. Unfortunately I am certain I don't have the experience in life as of yet to still make all the right decisions. ...and I still make more than my share of mistakes. I am feeling as though I'm always on the brink of some precipice these days... ready to make the plunge into something different. Whether that is good or bad...I still don't know... but I sense change coming... I'm trying to be optimistic and believe that it is good change... but based on my experience thus far... I can only expect bad change... I feel like I've been kneed in the groin by life too many times in the past few years... and am afraid to stand up too straight... else I give an opening I might not recover from. But I've found that I'm more resilient than I ever thought possible.... so in the play of life.... I'm waiting for the next act.
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