Repression Works Well.

There are times in our lives when we just coast... not making an effort to get anywhere or do anything... I feel like I'm at that point now at times, but then I also feel like I am making an effort... just to keep from sinking... I am in the best shape financially that I've been in for a long time... but there are always so many things to do. Work is still the same... I'm covering well more than what I'm paid.. with little overtime. I did get to drive to Delaware last week and at least get away from the center for awhile. I am currently haggling with insurance companies about my vehicle after getting hit in the rear. It's so simple of an open and shut case... but I am trying to put out of my mind the particulars and let my insurance company handle it... I just see them raising my rates even though it wasn't my fault.... just because evidently she didn't have insurance. I have to figure out the logistics of body shop repair and getting a rental.. but that will be weeks off.

I am also slated to see a few doctors in the next couple of months... starting at the last of April... That is when I go to see about the hernia left from my surgical incision from 2015.  ...then back to the Endocrinologist... I'm on Tresiba... but it doesn't seem to be working... my fasting blood sugar still checks around 200 each morning. I am starting to grow accustomed to the needles.. Then in the middle of May I go back to the Gastroenterologist.. I have put his follow up visit off 3 times now... soon he may just drop me.

I think most of dealing with life is just learning to get used to the way things are... sure.. we can make some minor changes along the way... but I've said many times that we don't have as much power over things as we think we might have.  We only have the power over ourselves and the way we deal with things. I say that I am direct about things.. and I am... of the things I feel... but I'm pretty sure I've just buried a lot of my thoughts and feelings so deep that I don't think about them anymore. I have learned that sometimes to survive and not drive yourself crazy... repression works well. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Something I Have Learned Well.

It's odd how we interact with others on so many levels... one would assume by my wide range of references that I have a large assortment of friends.. In all actuality, the people in my circle of friends could be counted on my hands.. and close friends... well..  easily on one hand. I'm not what I would consider a social butterfly... but to be honest.. I sometimes like crowds.. I enjoy having groups of people around me.. I don't stick out like a sore thumb.. and sometimes getting lost in the rest of the world... isn't such a bad thing. How often do you go and "people watch" ....and then think about those people once you're gone... not very often, I'm guessing.. not unless one did something completely out of the ordinary.  I just like having the feeling that I'm normal.. an ordinary person... I just sat here in this chair for most of the weekend.. not really accomplishing anything.. nothing constructive by any means... I feel as though maybe I'm...
Read more

I'm Looking Forward To A New Year.

Been through ice the last few days... lots of time to take off between now and the end of the year... but I will get it in. I tend to not worry about much of anything lately. There's no need.. life is perfect... or at least headed in a perfect direction. I am still irritated at my boss and don't feel that I can truly talk to her without wanting to slap some sense into her... and I'm not a violent person... I don't like the feelings she provokes in me. I haven't felt those feelings before. I would never contemplate seriously hurting anyone on purpose... but with her.. I just want answers... show me WHY you would do such a thing. Not a whole lot I can do about it now.. I will just ride it out until I can go elsewhere... it won't be much longer anyway. I got new glasses yesterday. They are the first plastic frames I've had in 30+ years... black and simple. I actually am growing to like them in a hurry. I spent my time driving to and from the city on the phone...
Read more