I'm Only Human.

I've been thinking a lot recently about oral sex.  It's sorta odd, as I don't get much practice either giving... or receiving.. but I think it was something I was a bit obsessed with over the years, as I wasn't given the opportunity to engage in it when I was married. Now that I'm single, my sex life is almost as bad as it was when I was married... I mean... well.. I actually had sex with other people when I was married... that may not have been the most moral thing... but it happened... and I deal with the fact that it did... I never plan on going back to being that person again... I believe in being straightforward with people... at least when they give me the opportunity to communicate... but a lot of people have sorta walked out of my life... which is entirely okay... Everyone goes away at some point... I've grown accustomed to that.  I was talking with a friend today about the serenity prayer... I've always said it's a  difficult thing to do, but if a person can have the strength to change what they can... the serenity to accept the things they can't change... and the wisdom to know the difference... then most things in life will fall in order.  I think we spend entirely too much time worrying about the past.... or upcoming things that we have no control over.. I do believe we should do the best we can with the knowledge we have and not fall on blind faith to get us through... I am a somewhat religious person... and I do believe that a higher power... God.. will get me through the tough times..

I just realized... I went from oral sex.. to religion... maybe because if done right, it can be a somewhat religious experience.  I think things are different than they appear most of the time... and sometimes many things are misconstrued... that's why I like to digest things for a bit before offering a response.. but at the same time... I don't want to brood on things without giving any feedback. That keeps a person in the dark and causes all kinds of mistrust. I've had thing from my past that keep coming back to haunt me... and I've tried to ignore them... but I shouldn't really ignore anything. Just acknowledge that things happened and learn to live with it without letting it control my thoughts or actions... after all.. I'm only human.