Under my Hat

 It's semi-official... I just got a call today from my ITSS trainer on my last assignment... then later from the Planning section chief that's out there now... they want me back... I'm not fully qualified as I don't have my taskbook completely signed off on... but they must be desperate or something... there is no one else... and they need people. The fire is almost a million acres now... and has graduated to National incident management team... I'm a little concerned as there won't be anyone there to train me... as I'll have the whole thing by myself.  My last time out, there were 3 of us... I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. I hope I don't have to set up anything from scratch as that's what I missed out on the last time I was out... I know what to do in theory... but it isn't exactly what I am ready for.. I don't generally get nervous when it comes to my IT work... but I want to do a good job... and things are consistently...

 So... another day... another dollar or two... I'm still a bit irritated at my uncle... you know... Sam... he sucked away a lot of my fire detail paycheck... actually about 49 percent... but there's not much I can do about that.  I have the day off... as I need to schedule 19 days before the end of the year or I lose them... I can only carry over 6 weeks into the next year, and as busy as I've been... I will have 6 weeks and 19 days... well.. not now.. I have most of them scheduled... as long as I don't have to reschedule due to something coming up... I'll be okay... I got caught up this morning on taxes... insurance... all kinds of other stuff.. vehicle registration... now I just need to get it inspected... I also need a new battery I think.. minor things to do, so I'm am not all that worried about it... I'll get to it when I do.. I need to go out some... The fear of getting sick has brought down the quality of life a bit... not so much as I don't still...

 I'm actually starting to catch up... on work... life... finances.. everything is falling into place. This CoVID thing has social activities pretty screwed up... so I'm not all that worried about getting out much... I know lots of people are having to adjust to a new lifestyle... I might end up doing that too... but the only major thing is making sure I have a mask with me. I have been trying to keep up with too much until just lately... now I do what I can... and let the rest go. It's much more satisfying to not worry about other people... I guess it's one of those "Fake it until you make it" things... I said I didn't for a long time... but there were still little voices inside me that wondered why certain things were the way they were.. I would always just stifle those voices and give them no control... and now... I don't really hear them anymore... I am pretty content with just being who I am... and I've accepted that there are some things I can...

 Hey... it's me again... for awhile now I really just haven't felt like posting... not that I felt badly... or that my life was in an uproar... but I have decided that in order to be happy, one should do what he/she feels like doing and maintain as much control over the life they have, rather than do things out of obligation. I don't really have anyone I have to answer to... nor explain myself to... and I'm pretty happy with that. Life is filled with enough obligations already... and to needlessly add more just gives a heavier burden on ourselves.  a lot has changed since my last post... I'm still working a lot, but for the most part... I have a lot of autonomous-ness in the way I live. I still have the housemate, definitely platonic... but it's handy to have someone to talk to on occasion. and when I leave out on details... someone is around to watch the house... although she has lived here a year and a half now... we said at the beginning "two years max...