Go With The Flow

 I'm actually starting to catch up... on work... life... finances.. everything is falling into place. This CoVID thing has social activities pretty screwed up... so I'm not all that worried about getting out much... I know lots of people are having to adjust to a new lifestyle... I might end up doing that too... but the only major thing is making sure I have a mask with me. I have been trying to keep up with too much until just lately... now I do what I can... and let the rest go. It's much more satisfying to not worry about other people... I guess it's one of those "Fake it until you make it" things... I said I didn't for a long time... but there were still little voices inside me that wondered why certain things were the way they were.. I would always just stifle those voices and give them no control... and now... I don't really hear them anymore... I am pretty content with just being who I am... and I've accepted that there are some things I can't change.  I've always said... you can't control other people... what they do and say... but you can control your actions... or reactions to them... I can choose to embrace and support those that choose to be a part of my life... and I can let those go who prefer not to be around. It seems like the older I get... the easier it is to deal with things. 

I can't wait to go back out on fire... it was pretty awesome... I grossed around 10k  for the last 2 weeks... but I only took home 5k... they tax the shit out of people who go up into a higher income tax bracket. I strongly believe the wealthy are paying their share of taxes... unless they are finding tax shelters and loopholes... which is probably the case... I don't plan on doing any of that.. I really wouldn't feel right about doing it... which is strange since it must be legal... but it still seems a bit shady... I can only hold myself accountable for the things I do... I have told several people that right and wrong is a bit fluid... the trick to being happy is to surround yourself with people who have a similar moral compass as you do. I will admit that my moral compass in relationships probably isn't as rigid as it once was... I thought that love was a requirement for sex... Now, I'm thinking that's not always the case. I do believe it's better with a strong connection.. but I've had some decent sex with a few people... and it turned out that it really wasn't love... and I think there have been one or two people in my life that I may have loved... and the sex was okay... but nothing spectacular... Of course, there have been few people who have really brought out the best parts of who I am... Mostly though... in the moment... at the time... it seems like anyone I was involved with.. was the end all be all of my life. I've learned not to think that way. It's nice to share my time with those who choose to be with me... and we'll see how things go along the way... but I'm going to enjoy the journey to whatever destination I end up arriving. All I have to do is go with the flow. 

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