Life is too hard

It is very difficult to sit and watch someone die.. but... as with everything and everyone else.. people seem to evacuate... leaving an empty hole in your life. I have a few people I can depend on for emotional support... but when it comes down to it.. no one has much control over anything. We choose to try.. and struggle against the tides of adversity in our life... but in the end things are going to happen anyway... no matter how much we work to create a better world for ourselves. I thought I was cried out... I was wrong... there's still a lot of tears left in me... I am not certain where my "breaking point" is.. but I have to be close.  I reach out.. out of necessity... but I find it harder and harder to trust anything... or anyone.. and this goes to show... no matter what or who you believe in.. it is always possible to be disappointed.  I can't handle any more disappointments.  I am trying to deal with things in a more positive light.. but every time I do, I get slapped down. It hurts.  I can't believe in much anymore...life is too hard.

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