It All Seems So Superficial Sometimes.

I think I was able to sleep last night.. for the first time in awhile... I got about 5 hours or so.. which is on par for me.. plus I fell asleep for a nap about mid-evening.. so.. I actually slept more last night than any two nights in awhile.. I wonder what causes our bodies to tell us we need to sleep.. I mean.. I know we get tired.. and our bodies have the urge to shut down in order to refresh.. but what actually causes it... I may end up looking that up.. There are a lot of things that happen.. or that we do.. and feel.. that there are really no plausible explanations for... such as caring about someone.. I don't think we choose who we want to care about.. and who we don't.. I remember feeling such feelings of panic several months ago... when I felt my walls start coming down.. and finally.. I gave in.. and let them come down.. That was stupid of me.. of course we all do stupid things.. things which cause us to wonder.. "WTF was I thinking" ...take drama for instance.. the world is full of drama.. and dramamakers.. I talked to someone recently and the discussion ensued about this particular activity. You ever see people who are addicted to soap operas on daytime tv.. or ...crime shows.. it's because they enjoy the drama that unfolds there.. My theory is that some people treat the online world as their own soap opera.. propagating drama if it doesn't actually exist. It's a form of entertainment for them... and when it gets to the point where they've had their fill.. they can just ..turn it off and continue with their real world environment.. I can't do that.. I know there are real people at the other end of the keyboard.. . and I have to deal with my actions toward other people whether I want to or not... my mind won't let me think in a 2 dimension fashion toward those people I interact with.. The best I can do.. is pull away... but for the most part.. those people that get close to me.. can always contact me.. they have that ability because I give it to them.. as I would anyone I consider a friend. I can't believe in two completely different worlds.. which distinguishes my mode of thinking from most of the people I've become involved with.. the online world.. is a part of my real world.. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything about all of the people I interact with.. online.. but it's the same in the real world too.. and I would think that it would take time to determine who anyone is.. online.. or face-to-face.  It's all a learning process.. when you take a relationship from the online world to real life.. by that time you should have good idea of who you are dealing with.. if you've talked for any length of time.. that's why it's difficult for me to grasp the idea that things can change in an instant once you meet someone... especially if you've met someone before. I'm not even talking anything more than friendships.. I have a good idea who a person is.. before we meet.. if they've been honest with me.. so when meeting someone.. it's not that big of a shock.. that person is still the same person they were.. the day before we met.. and will be the week after we've met... I suppose some people just don't understand that... or maybe the online fantasy is truly a superficial world for those people.. and the reality is too much for them to deal with.. I guess I'll never know who an online person is.. until I actually let them meet me ...and then deal with rejection at that point. It all seems so superficial sometimes..