...Or something like that
Last day of September... days are passing by, and the only changes I see are subtle ones... still, that's okay. I have decided that I am going to enjoy the journey to my destination, no matter what road I happen to take. I went back to work today. I seriously do enjoy my work, but it seems as though no matter how hard I try, there are just those students I will never get through to... same way with people in my everyday world... and by that, I mean online... I don't have everyday world friends.. at least not that I know about. Of course we never know what people think about us behind our back. Still.. it's not an issue for me.. I am still walking my own path... and doing what is best for me. My daughters are what's best for me.. I know that if I were to ever turn my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. Still, working for a compromise is a bit more difficult than I thought. I'm just glad I have someone who completely understand and shares my sentiment.
I have dreams that will eventually come true. I have always enjoyed being someone who is aware of themselves... The seasons show me that I don't have forever, but I have as long as I need. I am a firm believer that things happen as they're supposed to... it's just that I sometimes fight against the changes as they happen. I think we all have a tendency to do that when we fear change. It's a reaction most people have... the more we think about where we are... and where we want to go, It seems like that we're fighting not to go in the opposite direction.... getting farther and farther away from our goal. My goal isn't very complex. I want to be happy... that's pretty much it. It's just a matter of figuring out exactly what that is. Shouldn't be too hard though... or at least I hope not. There are so many people who are much worse off than I am.. my spouse's cousin just had a baby who died right after birth.. and now she's pretty much brain dead after a gruelling ordeal. This leaves her daughter with the rest of her family... which hopefully will work out okay... but I know it's hard on them all. My dad still talks about how difficult it is sometimes without my mom... I know it's difficult... but we continue as best we can. There was a biblical verse from proverbs that I have been trying to find... it talks about we only die.. when we stop living life.. or something like that.
I have dreams that will eventually come true. I have always enjoyed being someone who is aware of themselves... The seasons show me that I don't have forever, but I have as long as I need. I am a firm believer that things happen as they're supposed to... it's just that I sometimes fight against the changes as they happen. I think we all have a tendency to do that when we fear change. It's a reaction most people have... the more we think about where we are... and where we want to go, It seems like that we're fighting not to go in the opposite direction.... getting farther and farther away from our goal. My goal isn't very complex. I want to be happy... that's pretty much it. It's just a matter of figuring out exactly what that is. Shouldn't be too hard though... or at least I hope not. There are so many people who are much worse off than I am.. my spouse's cousin just had a baby who died right after birth.. and now she's pretty much brain dead after a gruelling ordeal. This leaves her daughter with the rest of her family... which hopefully will work out okay... but I know it's hard on them all. My dad still talks about how difficult it is sometimes without my mom... I know it's difficult... but we continue as best we can. There was a biblical verse from proverbs that I have been trying to find... it talks about we only die.. when we stop living life.. or something like that.
Comments
Post a Comment