Positivity Is Good.

A new year... made my trip to see my daughters.  It was a good trip in that respect, but I am back now.   It is always a bit difficult to leave. I usually spend the last night with my uncle in Nashville... sort of a transition, I suppose.. This time, my dad decided to follow me back.  I could make this post another rant about how my dad is getting on my nerves and blah...blah...blah... but he's old... and his health is a bit worse... I'll deal with it.

I have no recourse with my ex but to stop child support on my oldest.  She refuses to let me carry her as a dependent on my taxes... and refuses to discuss it... so I'm taking action.   That's just life... for each action...or inaction... there are consequences... it's time she learns that.  I am going to be a bit more hard-nosed about the whole thing now.  

I re-read some of my old posts... and it appears as though I might not be happy.... but I truly am. I am very happy with who I am... and where I am in life.  I am not "stuck" anywhere... Things could always be better... but they have almost always been worse. So it's all good.   I find myself wondering on occasion.. "what if???"  ...but I try not to dwell on it.  I hold no grudges with anyone... and there are many times I would love to contact people to just say... "I'm sorry for any stupid things I did or said that caused bad feelings."  ...but then I realize that the life of other people go on too... and some might not welcome a past intrusion into their life... I guess I'm ok with just knowing that I have regrets.... and learn from my mistakes.  That's what life is... a learning process.  Sometimes I think maybe my life has become a bit too somber... I don't want to ever lose my witticism. I still have all the silly thoughts I ever had, but I've put myself into a more adult role... making my actions a bit less playful and more mature.  I don't really ever plan on growing up mentally... completely. I enjoy life too much to take it very seriously...

I will have 2 days of recuperation after my dad leaves... not much of a vacation... but I'll take it. I've several new year's resolutions... but I'm not going to make them official... I'll just say I plan on trying to be positive as much as I can this year.  There is too much negativity in the world... and I don't want to be a part of it... Is it negative to point out the negativity? Sort of a catch-22 situation, but I know it's completely unfeasible to live the whole year in a positive light... I'll be satisfied with a 90/10 percent split. There is too much in this world that is awesome... and most people have wonderful potential. That doesn't mean my cynical nature will change... but I'll not live my life in the spotlight of my cynicism.  Positivity is good.

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