It's Just A Waiting Game

I got a call at about 2:15 Sunday morning... I had just went to bed about 1 am... so I was groggy and a bit pissed that someone would be calling me in the middle of the night. Then as I answered it and I saw who it was... and panic went through my head. It was my ex. Was it my daughters?? Had something happened? ...The first words out of her mouth were "I'm sorry I had to call but I have to tell you something" My mind started going numb, but she started talking about having pains over the last month or so...and that she had passed out at work. She got the girls food and supplies then drove herself to the hospital in our hometown... about 45 minutes away. She went with the understanding that she might have to stay overnight. Then she was told that one of her kidneys had stopped functioning...and there was a tumor. She sounded so sad as she told me they were sending her to Louisville, KY to the larger hospital about 90 minutes away from where she currently was. She also told me that I might have to be there for the girls, especially if something happened to her. It was a painful thing to hear, because I still love her... not deeply in love like when I first married her, but she was always going to be a part of my life. I've always tried to do the best I could to help her and the girls when I could. I sat here and listened to her go on about how I might have to be responsible for them... and it was something I wanted... to have my girls with me... but not like this. I listened to her for awhile as my mind was racing at all the scenarios... finally, she said she just needed to go for now... but to contact my daughters in the morning... I remember walking for hours around the house... not even sure why now. I couldn't sleep. I tried to lay down and rest a number of times... and finally got to sleep after 5... then the phone rang again at 6 am. My youngest was calling me. I explained to them that I knew... just as she said she had to tell me something.... it seemed to relieve her a little. They were concerned but seemed to be holding up okay... they had no idea what it was... but I did... I didn't share anything for the moment... but we talked over an hour. I told them my dad would be calling soon. Within a few minutes, they found out I was right... I conferenced him in and they told him what was going on. There is sooooo much drama coming out of this... and it's all coming from her family...cousins and aunts mainly as her mom and dad are no longer with us. My ex gave the hospital code just to our daughters... didn't want anyone else to have it... not even me... and I will respect that. But it's still caused more issues with her family. I talked to them awhile after my dad hung up... He's extremely annoying, but he's respecting our wishes and letting them be until they call for help. It's difficult for me not to go running down there, but they know I will be on my way as soon as they are okay for it. They are still being hermits because of the virus, and neither of them no how to drive. They just turned 23 and 18, so they're legally adults. Still, they will always be my babies.. I have told them several times I'm here and will be there within 12 hours as soon as they give the go ahead, but I won't be like my dad and try to force myself on them. They definitely understand that... They had to turn away a few relatives from my ex's family that tried to go take control of things. Some have even called the hospital being beligerent with the nurses... which is what my ex tried to avoid. A day has passed since then, and they haven't removed the tumor... nor done a biopsy even though they said that would happen today. I have found out it is Ovarian cancer... possibly stage 3... maybe stage 4, but we won't know anything just yet. the 9 cm tumor was pressing against the kidney, but the kidney still seemed to be okay for not, just not able to function because of the tumor. Other than that, I'm still waiting to hear any further news. I've talked to my daughters a couple of times since then... and my work knows I might be leaving at any time... I have 5 weeks of sick leave and 6 weeks of annual leave I can use... and they said I can telework if I need to ... I'm just trying to go about things as normally as I can... but for now, it's just a waiting game.