What is a friend?
I wonder what it is that makes people competent. I mean what happens to make someone incompetent. I'm sure you all have run across someone in your life and just wondered... how do they actually find their way to work in the morning/afternoon/evening? I think a lot of people just have a bad day... then have another one.. and then another one.. and then just stop caring. That could be one explanation..
I believe that some people are just too lazy... it's very easy to be lazy. I have seen many times where I just want to do nothing... and rest on my merits.. unfortunately no matter how many merits you build up.. it seems that there are bunches of people who always want something from you. I enjoy helping people, don't get me wrong, but I read from an acquaintance of mine not too long ago.. that if you don't deposit much in my emotional bank... don't expect to make too many withdrawals....
That's why I don't understand why certain people are my friends... what is a friend? I always try to be respectful of everyone until they disrepect me. But.. it has to go deeper than just respectful interaction... to be considered a friend. I think most of us are a bit selfish when it comes to the workings of our life. We tend to think what is happening to us is the most important thing... sometimes even taking precedence over what others would consider a much more important matter... I am glad that I have a person or two in my life that I feel free to talk to.. and to share my experiences with on a more personal level, but I also feel that these people are an important part of my life, and I will do what I can to make sure they know I will be there for them. I feel like a friend isn't someone that is just around during the "sunny" periods.. a true friend will be there when the chips are down and life isn't skittles and rainbows..
...and then you have the people that like to call you their friend.. but then will talk about you behind your back when you aren't around... it's sorta sad that people have to lie to themselves.. and to you about who they really are. Is this a cynical outlook?... you betcha!!! ...still, it's a very realistic view of the world. It's those people that eventually end up getting caught and usually start whining about how they were such a good, close friend... when in all actuality, they are worse than the people who are indifferent to you. I've had people that will spend 2 minutes asking how you are.. and then spend the next 2 - 3 hours telling you every intimate detail of their life for the past 24 hours... and then do the same thing the next day.. and the next.. and the next. ...don't get me wrong.. I love to know what is going on in my friend's lives... and I love being able to support them.. even when they are down.. but each relationship is a give/take... and for me.. I still feel somewhat selfish about my relationships... if there is all taking and no giving.. soon you run out of credit with my "give a ratt's butt" bank....
I have one person right now I know I could go to with anything.. and that person would do whatever I needed ...if possible.. I have a few more that I trust explicitly... and have no problem sharing with those few a very close part of my life, as I know they would recipricate in kind. ...but a larger group of people include those that I can post or chat with... share information and discuss things, but have issues getting too personal.. either because they have shown me that I can't trust them... or that they just don't seem to care. I still like these people.. and are what I call "online friends" ..but my exposure to them is somewhat limited. I know things about some of these people that they would never even begin to guess... but I can't say because I made a promise not to... to someone else... and I try to hold to my word.
So... best friend.... close friend... online friend... acquaintance... there are so many categories of relationships each with their own set of rules... I don't figure to be a best friend.. or close friend to more than a handful.. but I am ok with that... one good friend is worth a plethora of acquaintances..
I believe that some people are just too lazy... it's very easy to be lazy. I have seen many times where I just want to do nothing... and rest on my merits.. unfortunately no matter how many merits you build up.. it seems that there are bunches of people who always want something from you. I enjoy helping people, don't get me wrong, but I read from an acquaintance of mine not too long ago.. that if you don't deposit much in my emotional bank... don't expect to make too many withdrawals....
That's why I don't understand why certain people are my friends... what is a friend? I always try to be respectful of everyone until they disrepect me. But.. it has to go deeper than just respectful interaction... to be considered a friend. I think most of us are a bit selfish when it comes to the workings of our life. We tend to think what is happening to us is the most important thing... sometimes even taking precedence over what others would consider a much more important matter... I am glad that I have a person or two in my life that I feel free to talk to.. and to share my experiences with on a more personal level, but I also feel that these people are an important part of my life, and I will do what I can to make sure they know I will be there for them. I feel like a friend isn't someone that is just around during the "sunny" periods.. a true friend will be there when the chips are down and life isn't skittles and rainbows..
...and then you have the people that like to call you their friend.. but then will talk about you behind your back when you aren't around... it's sorta sad that people have to lie to themselves.. and to you about who they really are. Is this a cynical outlook?... you betcha!!! ...still, it's a very realistic view of the world. It's those people that eventually end up getting caught and usually start whining about how they were such a good, close friend... when in all actuality, they are worse than the people who are indifferent to you. I've had people that will spend 2 minutes asking how you are.. and then spend the next 2 - 3 hours telling you every intimate detail of their life for the past 24 hours... and then do the same thing the next day.. and the next.. and the next. ...don't get me wrong.. I love to know what is going on in my friend's lives... and I love being able to support them.. even when they are down.. but each relationship is a give/take... and for me.. I still feel somewhat selfish about my relationships... if there is all taking and no giving.. soon you run out of credit with my "give a ratt's butt" bank....
I have one person right now I know I could go to with anything.. and that person would do whatever I needed ...if possible.. I have a few more that I trust explicitly... and have no problem sharing with those few a very close part of my life, as I know they would recipricate in kind. ...but a larger group of people include those that I can post or chat with... share information and discuss things, but have issues getting too personal.. either because they have shown me that I can't trust them... or that they just don't seem to care. I still like these people.. and are what I call "online friends" ..but my exposure to them is somewhat limited. I know things about some of these people that they would never even begin to guess... but I can't say because I made a promise not to... to someone else... and I try to hold to my word.
So... best friend.... close friend... online friend... acquaintance... there are so many categories of relationships each with their own set of rules... I don't figure to be a best friend.. or close friend to more than a handful.. but I am ok with that... one good friend is worth a plethora of acquaintances..
I wish I had someone that I can be my complete self around, kayli was that person for the longest, but the distance is what messes everything up. I am glad that you have someone to confide in. it seems unnatural not to.
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