I'm Certain It Will

Wow! ...just WOW!  ...I'm so nervous and excited, I almost can't stand it.  Thursday is the meeting with the divorce lawyer, but it looks like something might be happening with my job near DC. I was asked to submit my resume ASAP yesterday... but it was too late in the day... this morning... 5 minutes after I sent it... I got a response from the Support Services Supervisor telling me the Center Director was going to try to do a lateral transfer... but that I still needed to put in for the position as soon as it posted... just to cover our bases... so it looks like I have the job.  I contacted a former co-worker that I knew very well... because I happen to remember she grew up in the area I'm looking to move... and she had lots of possible suggestions.  She is contacting friends and family in that area to see about finding me a decent place to live. I'm still a bit nervous about how much I will be left with... after the divorce... but I figure I'll make it somehow... someway.

I look back a few years ago... and I see that I'm actually about to undertake the steps I've waited so long to take.. I'm trying to do things as best I can... but I still have a few concerns. I want to make certain ... under no circumstances... that my daughters do not feel slighted at all... I love them more than anyone else on the planet... and I always will... I love my spouse too.. we talked about that tonight... about how things happened... how it was both our faults... but we also realize that we are far beyond any repair... in fact.. we realized that a few years ago..  I am thinking the lawyer visit won't go quite as bad as I expect... but you never know...  Neither of us are trying to be vindictive... and when I said I probably wouldn't be left with $1000/month, my spouse said... I want you to have more than that.   I had to explain that they will figure what is best for the children... and our "wants" will come as a lower priority... which is as it should be.. So.. it's going to be another 6 days of anxious feelings that come and go... I will put it all in the hands of God and hope that it will work out in favor of everyone... I'm certain it will. 

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