I'll Be Here For My Friends

I think that people are always going to have pieces of themselves... or thoughts... that they don't want to share... and I should learn to be accepting of that.  I just care about people... it's part of who I am.  I tend to get somewhat invasive at times... and when I step outside of myself and look back... it's much easier to see. I am wondering if it's because I feel inadequate? ...or maybe I am a controlling person?  I really don't know exactly what it is... but more and more I find myself wanting to support those I let close to me.. I know I've learned to trust just a few people... more than I ever thought I would. Am I a manipulator?  ...probably.  I don't have a problem sharing things completely... not with those I hold closest... and I suppose I expect a reciprocation... but I am learning that all people aren't that transparent.. and I need to accept people for who they are.. not who I want them to be..  I do appreciate those that support me...  I need to pull away from the sites... I am starting to read things there.. and things into posts... and I shouldn't be there.. because it just makes it more difficult for me to understand why certain things are they way they are... I hope that those that care will reverse the roles.. and imagine what it would be like for me to have issues I wouldn't be able to share with them. I will deal with it... It's just something I do.. Trust is something that difficult for most people... and I've learned that people can say anything.. sometimes it is just a bit more than that... it's about actions... so ... what really constitutes trust?  I suppose that no matter what I say, there are things I will always find difficult.... both in doing.. and in accepting.. still.. you can't completely trust anyone... I should know that.. I want to.. but I've learned that I've never been able to trust myself totally. I've found someone in my life that I want to place all my trust in... but there will still be barriers.. I guess it just turns my world a bit around to find out things aren't exactly like what I thought... but I still know that it's right... I know that is what I'm supposed to do... I appreciate all of it.. life... hope... and most of all.. the love and faith in what we have. I won't ever push myself where I'm not welcome... but I always hope to be an enhancement to those around me. I can feel the sites pulling at me every time I log into them... so I take steps back...  those people who truly want to be in my life... know where I am... and can message me... and those that haven't taken the time to get to know me that well..  I guess they don't want to know me that well.. and there's nothing I can do about it... so I'm me... and I'm here.. and I'll be here for my friends... 

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