I Expect Them To Buy Me Dinner First.
Does anyone else hold out hope that little fairies will do the housework if left alone for long enough?? Unfortunately this goes against everything I know to be true... still.. it's nice to think about. I am currently enjoying another quiet evening at home... go figure... I think 99.99% of my evenings are like this... I just played a few hours of WoW... and thought I'd pop on my blog to see if anything interesting comes to mind... what I SHOULD be doing is the aforementioned housework. I did get laundry done last night... and cleaned my bathroom... I should wash dishes and vacuum. If there is anything I miss about being married... it's that some of the cleaning was actually done by someone else. But it's not missed enough for me to consider marriage again.
I got a call last week from the gastroenterology place confirming my appointment for April... then I get a call from another place today confirming my appointment for February 7... now ..I didn't contact either place.. but my doc was supposed to pick someone out... I'm not actually looking forward to either... as I'm going to get my first... colonoscopy... I HATE getting old... I have never have... and don't believe I ever will ...be susceptible to having a camera shoved up my ass... I am pretty sure I've made myself clear in my earlier blogs... my ass should be exit only... that's my opinion anyway... I know there is a bit of ass play during some sexual situations.... but someone would have to be EXTREMELY special for me to even consider trying that out... even then.. I'd have severe reservations. I have had 2 proctology exams in my life and they both weren't anything I would want to experience again... the first one was a long time ago... 1994.... and I had to have the physical exam for my employment... I didn't know beforehand it was to include a prostate check... I was only 28.. and the doctor... well.. all I can say.. is when he mention prostate check.. my eyes went to the size of his fingers.. Oh My Fucking God... his fingers were HUGE... each one of his would make 3 of mine... so I panicked....
...where's the exit... I need to get out... no job is worth this... can he at least call someone else in with tiny fingers?? ...I wouldn't mind someone pinch-hitting for him in this respect... there was a small lady at the billing desks... let her do it with her tiny hands... I'll wait while you train her... I have pretty much lost all sense of modesty at this point... I did realize at the point where he sodomized me with his sausage fingers that there is no way I could ever become gay... the only thought that popped through my head was... damn... get it out... I think it's been 30 minutes at least... what??? only 10 seconds??? ...well... I beg to differ... my ass is getting stretched beyond the point that any turd I had passed ever stretched it... I was wondering if I would have a sphincter muscle now... would I need diapers?? ...luckily it was over after the 6 hour prostate exam... and I was humiliated beyond anything I had ever experienced before... okay... so it wasn't that long... but I tend to remember it differently..
My second exam was by my urologist... and I'm thinking... ummm... wrong side of my body... you're supposed to be examining my circumcision... and you wanna... what?? Okay... just get it over with.. at least you don't have gorilla hands... still... this guy looked like he was gonna enjoy his job just a little too much... he's already been intimate with my genitalia.. might as well round it out with a bit of ass play... so... I bend over and wait... and wait... and ....damn!!! there it is... 1 sec... are we done yet?... suddenly time lost all focus again... and I was certain I was in there for hours... okay... minutes.. leave me alone.. I'll remember it like I wanna.. This guy had long boney fingers that were not stretching my ass much... but they were cold... and I felt like he shoved a test tube up my rectum.. he might have for all I know... so... these two previous events were just short fingers... one was mutated banana fingers... but still... not like a metal tube ... with a camera... a camera!! ...what's that about... colonoscopy... a scope up the colon... that just sounds like a horror movie. They better put me on some good drugs... and if they're gonna violate me in such a manner in which I am dreading... I expect them to buy me dinner first...
I got a call last week from the gastroenterology place confirming my appointment for April... then I get a call from another place today confirming my appointment for February 7... now ..I didn't contact either place.. but my doc was supposed to pick someone out... I'm not actually looking forward to either... as I'm going to get my first... colonoscopy... I HATE getting old... I have never have... and don't believe I ever will ...be susceptible to having a camera shoved up my ass... I am pretty sure I've made myself clear in my earlier blogs... my ass should be exit only... that's my opinion anyway... I know there is a bit of ass play during some sexual situations.... but someone would have to be EXTREMELY special for me to even consider trying that out... even then.. I'd have severe reservations. I have had 2 proctology exams in my life and they both weren't anything I would want to experience again... the first one was a long time ago... 1994.... and I had to have the physical exam for my employment... I didn't know beforehand it was to include a prostate check... I was only 28.. and the doctor... well.. all I can say.. is when he mention prostate check.. my eyes went to the size of his fingers.. Oh My Fucking God... his fingers were HUGE... each one of his would make 3 of mine... so I panicked....
...where's the exit... I need to get out... no job is worth this... can he at least call someone else in with tiny fingers?? ...I wouldn't mind someone pinch-hitting for him in this respect... there was a small lady at the billing desks... let her do it with her tiny hands... I'll wait while you train her... I have pretty much lost all sense of modesty at this point... I did realize at the point where he sodomized me with his sausage fingers that there is no way I could ever become gay... the only thought that popped through my head was... damn... get it out... I think it's been 30 minutes at least... what??? only 10 seconds??? ...well... I beg to differ... my ass is getting stretched beyond the point that any turd I had passed ever stretched it... I was wondering if I would have a sphincter muscle now... would I need diapers?? ...luckily it was over after the 6 hour prostate exam... and I was humiliated beyond anything I had ever experienced before... okay... so it wasn't that long... but I tend to remember it differently..
My second exam was by my urologist... and I'm thinking... ummm... wrong side of my body... you're supposed to be examining my circumcision... and you wanna... what?? Okay... just get it over with.. at least you don't have gorilla hands... still... this guy looked like he was gonna enjoy his job just a little too much... he's already been intimate with my genitalia.. might as well round it out with a bit of ass play... so... I bend over and wait... and wait... and ....damn!!! there it is... 1 sec... are we done yet?... suddenly time lost all focus again... and I was certain I was in there for hours... okay... minutes.. leave me alone.. I'll remember it like I wanna.. This guy had long boney fingers that were not stretching my ass much... but they were cold... and I felt like he shoved a test tube up my rectum.. he might have for all I know... so... these two previous events were just short fingers... one was mutated banana fingers... but still... not like a metal tube ... with a camera... a camera!! ...what's that about... colonoscopy... a scope up the colon... that just sounds like a horror movie. They better put me on some good drugs... and if they're gonna violate me in such a manner in which I am dreading... I expect them to buy me dinner first...
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