Thoughtless At Times.

I'm developing a conscience.. I know... it's a sad day.. but I feel badly when I say something without thinking... and then someone takes it negative... at one time I kept up with who read my blog.. and who didn't... but as of late... I just assumed that no one reads it except the one or two that I gave it to... and I wasn't even certain how much they read..  I haven't even been watching the counter at the bottom of the page...  I don't want to censor myself.. but I don't want to hurt anyone with my thoughts either. Sometimes I get on a small trip to the back corners of my mind and dig stuff out. I really have no business doing that, as the past needs to stay in the past.. today I talked about people who were in my life at one time.. and I said things that if you think about it.. might be negative.. I still overthink things.. I suppose it's something I'll always do... but I believe that everyone makes choices that is best for them... and that's the way it should be.. I know I'm selfish in some of the choices I make. I choose to do or say things at times that I feel are in my best interest with little regard to other people. I'm not saying that I'll change.. because I'm almost certain I won't.. but then I shouldn't be surprised at the reactions of some when I throw things out there... or make rash decisions... I appreciate all the things that have gone into making me who I am.. maybe I didn't get that point across earlier.. That was the main goal of my words.. but even still I got lost in trying to translate it between my head and my fingertips.. I can't take back anything I've done.. good or bad.. and I don't want to... I believe it all happens for a reason... but I can try to do and say things while having a bit of respect for others..

I'm one of those people who believe that people earn trust.. and respect.. and it can so easily be lost... I've almost lost respect for myself at times.. I think a lot of problems we have in today's society is that there is little respect for each other.  I look at how bad things get...and I know they will probably only get worse.. THAT saddens me.. I can't help what other people do.. but I can help how I behave and what things I throw out there.. I want to say I'm sorry if I have disrespected anyone in my blog.. I don't mean to be that type of person. It's not that I wake up in the morning and start out with plans to take shots at people... I'm certain there are people on this planet that it's difficult not to insult because of their behavior... but I've been lucky to not have many people like that in my life.. most everyone is just like me in that respect.. just trying to get through another day without making things more difficult for themselves.. or anyone else. I've said it before.. there is no rule book in life to follow.. we just sort of make it all up as we go... and after a time we start to feel like we have the hang of things.. only to find out that life can throw us curves.. and shows up we really don't have as much figured out as we thought... I can't be someone I'm not... but I also can admit when I've made mistakes... I didn't say I was wrong... just thoughtless at times..