Dad!
My Dad... before I was born, I think my dad had something inserted to make sure I was still there.. and to track me if I left the womb early to go out somewhere..some sort of "tracking chip" After I was born... I really don't remember much.. but I have a vague suspicion that baby monitors were used a lot... he'd still do that now if he could get away with it...
My father is a very kind, loving man... He would give you the shirt off his back.. but... if someone tries to short him in some way.. without his permission... he will NEVER forget it... Dad has this vision of how things are supposed to be.. and he refuses to see things another way. All through school he was so cynical of everyone and how they were just out to plunder, pillage and destroy... you would think we lived in a Viking village. Still I get some of cynicism from him... I find it hard to trust people.. and I think that is his fault.
I fell asleep on the couch as a kid.. maybe 4 or 5 years old.. and my dad scoured the neighborhood looking for me when I didn't answer him... finally when they came back in.. and noticed I was asleep on the chair (my clothes were similar in color to the chair) ...they called off the search for me.
In school, I wasn't able to do any extracurricular activities, because my dad would come in the building looking for me if I was late about getting out... and there was no way he would allow me to ride a bus.. I'm sure he thought that someone else would crash the bus on purpose to cause him as much pain and anguish as they could. I remember in 7th grade joining the newspaper, only to have my father come in after 10 minutes wondering where I was... it was always like that.. that's why I try to let my daughters have some degree of freedom.
In high school, I remember having a heart to heart talk with my dad ONE time.... about being sad about not dating... I was 17.. with a driver's license.. and I told my dad that I would like to be able to date... to drive somewhere... his reply... "Where do you want to go... I can take you." ....ummmm, no.. that would basically defeat the purpose.
So... off to college.. (another story in itself) ...needless to say that I sorta did my own thing after meeting a woman quite a bit older than me and kept it secret (for awhile) from my Dad. I remember they caught my car... 20 miles away parked in a grocery parking lot beside her apartment. I still don't know how they managed to figure that one out... hence the tracking chip at birth.
...another time in college.. I had decided to go out to a hotel lounge with music.. and drink.. just 2 drinks in 5 hours... The population of this town was about 40,000 at the time... I was 21 years old... I didn't get drunk, but stayed until 2 am... so I was certain the alcohol had worn off.. Evidently Dad had been looking for me, because when I left at 2 am.. there he was.. parked by my car.. I never said a word... but just got into my car and drove home.. with him on my ass all the way back. More evidence to the tracking chip.
...the most pissed off I ever got... during college.. I lived with my sister (his idea of course.. that way he could keep track of both of us) ...I saw the logic in it... but my sis was spending the night with one of her friends.. and I had another roommate were we lived in a 3 room "hut" ....it was finals week and I was staying at the library until closing...
..........on a side note... my dad always called me 2 - 3 times a day to find out if I was in for the night.. if the doors were locked, etc. If I wasn't then he would want to know where I was going.. and what time I would be in.. to which he would call at that time.. and give me the same round of questions.....
....anyway, this was finals week and the libary was open an hour later... I told Dad I was studying at the library with my roommate and would be in when the library closed...
(another side note... my dad would always come and get may laundry on Thursday so I would be required to go home for the weekend in order to rescue my clothes being held hostage at their house)
...so... my dad was expecting us shortly after 11pm.. however due to not thinking, I forgot to mention the time would now be shortly after midnight... so.. we come straight in.. and go to sleep.... I can only surmise that Dad must have called multiple times and become frantically worried.. ... he made the 45 minute drive from his house to our humble abode.. about the time we had drifted off.. .. I'm not certain if he knocked on the front door or not, but within minutes.. there was the terrifying crash that jolted us out of our slumber as the back door came crashing down.... My roommate and myself clutching the makeshift weapons that included a torque wrench and a tennis racket as we popped the light on.. only to find dad.. standing in our kitchen with the door completely broken off it's hinges. My horror quickly turned to anger as Dad said "I thought I smelled gas." ...as he noticed how upset I was getting.. he tried to cover... "I ... ummm... came to pick up your clothes" .... by this time I was blowing a gasket somewhere in my head as I was excedingly irate. I am not sure what happened after that.. but I am pretty sure I said things that if I remembered them.. I MIGHT regret.. in any case, Dad took my clothes and left... and we went back to sleep.. I do know that I was angry for many days to come.
So... years later... and I am married.. in my early 40's... and have suffered many such instances in my life where my Dad has decided that I am the most incompetent idiot to ever grace the planet, and I have no idea how to wipe my own ass without his instruction... I decide that I am going to get a surprise present for my spouse for Mother's Day.. a video camera... but.. I want it to be a surprise, so how can I make certain it is... by telling no one, of course... so .. one evening after work I make the journey from my secluded domicile in the middle of nowhere to the city, telling my spouse that I am going to work on a computer for a friend of mine that I work with... This friend has a cell phone ...and no one can get in touch with him because it is unlisted and I haven't shared his number with anyone.. but I have my own cell phone.. so no one should need to contact him. ...so within minutes of leaving, I get my first call from Inspector Clouseau (Dad) ...I'm certain I will get the 3rd degree about what's going on.. so I ignore the call.. after my 1 hour trip into town.. and shopping for another 2 hours... I have received in excess of 35 phone calls... none of which I have answered.. ( yes.. this is normal for my father) ...I now have my shopping done and am on my way home... when I get home.. I have found out that my dad had evidently has called on his contacts with the FBI or CIA to obtain my friend's cell phone number... When he obtained the info of where I was supposed to be, he used this information to contact my friend's number and ask where I was... (let me just say that if you are ever to use someone as a cover story, make sure you tell them first) My friend didn't have a clue.. and said he hadn't seen me that night... BOTH times that Dad called him.. so... here I was.. lying about where I was.. when I got home... it was evident that I had lied... so I came clean.. I told my spouse about her present.. threw it on the couch and said "Happy Mother's Day"
....there are so many other instances that I could mention, but these are the ones that jumped out first.... as this blog continues, perhaps I will share more of them.. until then... I will just sit here... with my tracking chip inside my head.. looking for a way to remove it.
My father is a very kind, loving man... He would give you the shirt off his back.. but... if someone tries to short him in some way.. without his permission... he will NEVER forget it... Dad has this vision of how things are supposed to be.. and he refuses to see things another way. All through school he was so cynical of everyone and how they were just out to plunder, pillage and destroy... you would think we lived in a Viking village. Still I get some of cynicism from him... I find it hard to trust people.. and I think that is his fault.
I fell asleep on the couch as a kid.. maybe 4 or 5 years old.. and my dad scoured the neighborhood looking for me when I didn't answer him... finally when they came back in.. and noticed I was asleep on the chair (my clothes were similar in color to the chair) ...they called off the search for me.
In school, I wasn't able to do any extracurricular activities, because my dad would come in the building looking for me if I was late about getting out... and there was no way he would allow me to ride a bus.. I'm sure he thought that someone else would crash the bus on purpose to cause him as much pain and anguish as they could. I remember in 7th grade joining the newspaper, only to have my father come in after 10 minutes wondering where I was... it was always like that.. that's why I try to let my daughters have some degree of freedom.
In high school, I remember having a heart to heart talk with my dad ONE time.... about being sad about not dating... I was 17.. with a driver's license.. and I told my dad that I would like to be able to date... to drive somewhere... his reply... "Where do you want to go... I can take you." ....ummmm, no.. that would basically defeat the purpose.
So... off to college.. (another story in itself) ...needless to say that I sorta did my own thing after meeting a woman quite a bit older than me and kept it secret (for awhile) from my Dad. I remember they caught my car... 20 miles away parked in a grocery parking lot beside her apartment. I still don't know how they managed to figure that one out... hence the tracking chip at birth.
...another time in college.. I had decided to go out to a hotel lounge with music.. and drink.. just 2 drinks in 5 hours... The population of this town was about 40,000 at the time... I was 21 years old... I didn't get drunk, but stayed until 2 am... so I was certain the alcohol had worn off.. Evidently Dad had been looking for me, because when I left at 2 am.. there he was.. parked by my car.. I never said a word... but just got into my car and drove home.. with him on my ass all the way back. More evidence to the tracking chip.
...the most pissed off I ever got... during college.. I lived with my sister (his idea of course.. that way he could keep track of both of us) ...I saw the logic in it... but my sis was spending the night with one of her friends.. and I had another roommate were we lived in a 3 room "hut" ....it was finals week and I was staying at the library until closing...
..........on a side note... my dad always called me 2 - 3 times a day to find out if I was in for the night.. if the doors were locked, etc. If I wasn't then he would want to know where I was going.. and what time I would be in.. to which he would call at that time.. and give me the same round of questions.....
....anyway, this was finals week and the libary was open an hour later... I told Dad I was studying at the library with my roommate and would be in when the library closed...
(another side note... my dad would always come and get may laundry on Thursday so I would be required to go home for the weekend in order to rescue my clothes being held hostage at their house)
...so... my dad was expecting us shortly after 11pm.. however due to not thinking, I forgot to mention the time would now be shortly after midnight... so.. we come straight in.. and go to sleep.... I can only surmise that Dad must have called multiple times and become frantically worried.. ... he made the 45 minute drive from his house to our humble abode.. about the time we had drifted off.. .. I'm not certain if he knocked on the front door or not, but within minutes.. there was the terrifying crash that jolted us out of our slumber as the back door came crashing down.... My roommate and myself clutching the makeshift weapons that included a torque wrench and a tennis racket as we popped the light on.. only to find dad.. standing in our kitchen with the door completely broken off it's hinges. My horror quickly turned to anger as Dad said "I thought I smelled gas." ...as he noticed how upset I was getting.. he tried to cover... "I ... ummm... came to pick up your clothes" .... by this time I was blowing a gasket somewhere in my head as I was excedingly irate. I am not sure what happened after that.. but I am pretty sure I said things that if I remembered them.. I MIGHT regret.. in any case, Dad took my clothes and left... and we went back to sleep.. I do know that I was angry for many days to come.
So... years later... and I am married.. in my early 40's... and have suffered many such instances in my life where my Dad has decided that I am the most incompetent idiot to ever grace the planet, and I have no idea how to wipe my own ass without his instruction... I decide that I am going to get a surprise present for my spouse for Mother's Day.. a video camera... but.. I want it to be a surprise, so how can I make certain it is... by telling no one, of course... so .. one evening after work I make the journey from my secluded domicile in the middle of nowhere to the city, telling my spouse that I am going to work on a computer for a friend of mine that I work with... This friend has a cell phone ...and no one can get in touch with him because it is unlisted and I haven't shared his number with anyone.. but I have my own cell phone.. so no one should need to contact him. ...so within minutes of leaving, I get my first call from Inspector Clouseau (Dad) ...I'm certain I will get the 3rd degree about what's going on.. so I ignore the call.. after my 1 hour trip into town.. and shopping for another 2 hours... I have received in excess of 35 phone calls... none of which I have answered.. ( yes.. this is normal for my father) ...I now have my shopping done and am on my way home... when I get home.. I have found out that my dad had evidently has called on his contacts with the FBI or CIA to obtain my friend's cell phone number... When he obtained the info of where I was supposed to be, he used this information to contact my friend's number and ask where I was... (let me just say that if you are ever to use someone as a cover story, make sure you tell them first) My friend didn't have a clue.. and said he hadn't seen me that night... BOTH times that Dad called him.. so... here I was.. lying about where I was.. when I got home... it was evident that I had lied... so I came clean.. I told my spouse about her present.. threw it on the couch and said "Happy Mother's Day"
....there are so many other instances that I could mention, but these are the ones that jumped out first.... as this blog continues, perhaps I will share more of them.. until then... I will just sit here... with my tracking chip inside my head.. looking for a way to remove it.
geez, glad my dad's not quite THAT psycho lol!
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