I End Up Crashing When I Can't See Where I'm Going.

I find that sometimes I'm wrong.. sometimes I'm right.. but most times.. it doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Things are still going to happen. I am certain I've done more than my share as far as upsetting people is concerned. I am okay with that. It seems that others all have their idea of what is good in their life.. and no one needs to consult me about it.. likewise I have no one to answer to.. but there are people in my life I like to let know what is going on. I think that various people fulfill different roles in our life.. and sometimes  it just seems that we end up leaning on other people at times. Then there are the users.. the ones that need to use people up and then move to another then another. I never want to be thought of that way.. but it doesn't matter if I am.. I know I'm not.  I have had many people in my life.. some have moved on.. and others have stuck it out for awhile.. but I need to find a balance in my life.. I am somewhat happy where I am now.. and the future doesn't look at that bleak anymore.. I have always had some very wonderful friends in my life.. and I don't ever want to downplay that.. because my friends are important to me.. I only hope I've been a decent friend as I went down my path. Sure there are those people that hate my guts.. and I can live with that. I have a few online personalities I've clashed with.. and there are people who have insulted me.. but I just keep them out of my life.. I'm not ever looking to start drama... but for some reason at times it's always seemed to find me.. maybe it's because I'm prone to dramatic people.. but I open myself up to that... I have always seen the red flags.. and raced right by them... not paying any heed to them.  I was in certain circles where I knew all kinds of things.. about all kinds of people.. and I'm glad to say that I have ...for the most part.. put that in my past.  I enjoy where I'm at right now.. I'm not even afraid to admit I was wrong... I know things always change.. and I am always open to new experiences.. I will try to never say never.... as I have learned that nothing is absolute.  I find that it's very difficult to believe in some things or some people.. but I do try to remain open.. unfortunately so many times my trust gets pummeled and it's difficult to continue a close friendship or relationship after that.. but until people give me that reason.. I try... to believe in people.. even if I am sometimes pessimistic in my outlook... I realize that it's MY problem to overcome.  I like to think that there is someone out there that will help me to overlook all that.... that will negate all the past hurt.. I can't make things be a certain way or another.. I am however optimistic at the moment.. at least more than I've been for awhile. It's not that I've been talking to someone for very long.. it's just.. a feeling.. that I don't usually get.. and something new.. is usually a very good sign. I try to stay grounded.. and will never lose my logical viewpoint.. but.. I have to logically believe that everyone isn't bad.. or at least not out to bring discomfort into my life. I love my friends.. I enjoy having possible expectations.. but I've learned to go slow.. and keep my eyes open.. I end up crashing when I can't see where I'm going.

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