I'm Buckled In For The Ride.
I think I'm letting work get to me... I wasn't able to sleep well last night.. as I woke up from 3 - 4 this morning.. then grabbed about a 45 min of nap time... There are a few concerns in my life.. but most of it I think might be anxiety.. I want to get away from where I'm working. ...don't get me wrong.. I love doing what I do.. I feel I do a terrific job of it.. I just feel that the management at our center is completely steering us in a wrong direction. There is a lack of communication... a lack of respect.. a lack of accountability. Because of this.. and my need to be out of this location, I feel like I am overly anxious to get another job and get moved.. This might be part of what is keeping me awake. Another part of me is worried about my daughter... she hurt her knee last year in phys ed.. and it bothers her every once in a while... well..now it's bothering her consistently, so she is going today to a specialist. I hope it's something easily correctable.
I went to my food commodities distribution with my class yesterday to help out... so I got to drive the short bus... I kid about that, but it actually wasn't bad.. Knowing my class though, a few might go down the road licking windows... just to promote that image. Luckily yesterday was a licking-free day... so all is well... other than the fact that we were a week early... I was given the wrong date information by the one who filled in for me last month.
Do you ever wonder if we have the presence of mind to conduct ourselves appropriately at all times? ...I think not... but that's okay.. who is to say what is appropriate and what is not. Sometimes I feel like maybe my flirts on the sites are a bit over the top... but for the most part... it's just me blowing off steam... there is very little that I take truly seriously on the sites anymore, as I realize it for what it is.. a playground.. a place where people go to play and escape... and we all need that..... but I have someone in my life I won't lose now.. and even though she says she doesn't want me to change, I have to wonder if my general flirtiness.. with girls and guys alike.. is a form of disrespect to what we have. I am not ever going to cross that line... because I never have... if I'm with someone.. I'm with them.. I always tried to maintain a degree of respect for my relationships.. I know that sounds very strange coming from a married man... but honestly.. I don't care how it sounds... I don't have to justify my actions... but I am an open person... I have nothing about myself I feel I need to hide. I think people might get upset with me at times because I ramble just a bit much.... but I strive to keep the open communication that I've worked so hard to try to develop. I want people to be direct with me.. to be open.. and I dislike it when people do things that appear to be less than honest.. I have issues... we all do.. anyone that says they don't.... either is a liar.. or they know nothing about themselves... but the issues we face, are ones that we either learn to accept or to deal with it. I wouldn't ever go backwards in my life... there is too much negativity there... and I'm learning to accept and love the positive aspects of my life now... Did I ever think I'd feel this way...and I won't use the word.. again.. because I've never quite felt this high on life.. and this positive about possibilities.... My life is headed in an awesome direction and I'm buckled in for the ride.
I went to my food commodities distribution with my class yesterday to help out... so I got to drive the short bus... I kid about that, but it actually wasn't bad.. Knowing my class though, a few might go down the road licking windows... just to promote that image. Luckily yesterday was a licking-free day... so all is well... other than the fact that we were a week early... I was given the wrong date information by the one who filled in for me last month.
Do you ever wonder if we have the presence of mind to conduct ourselves appropriately at all times? ...I think not... but that's okay.. who is to say what is appropriate and what is not. Sometimes I feel like maybe my flirts on the sites are a bit over the top... but for the most part... it's just me blowing off steam... there is very little that I take truly seriously on the sites anymore, as I realize it for what it is.. a playground.. a place where people go to play and escape... and we all need that..... but I have someone in my life I won't lose now.. and even though she says she doesn't want me to change, I have to wonder if my general flirtiness.. with girls and guys alike.. is a form of disrespect to what we have. I am not ever going to cross that line... because I never have... if I'm with someone.. I'm with them.. I always tried to maintain a degree of respect for my relationships.. I know that sounds very strange coming from a married man... but honestly.. I don't care how it sounds... I don't have to justify my actions... but I am an open person... I have nothing about myself I feel I need to hide. I think people might get upset with me at times because I ramble just a bit much.... but I strive to keep the open communication that I've worked so hard to try to develop. I want people to be direct with me.. to be open.. and I dislike it when people do things that appear to be less than honest.. I have issues... we all do.. anyone that says they don't.... either is a liar.. or they know nothing about themselves... but the issues we face, are ones that we either learn to accept or to deal with it. I wouldn't ever go backwards in my life... there is too much negativity there... and I'm learning to accept and love the positive aspects of my life now... Did I ever think I'd feel this way...and I won't use the word.. again.. because I've never quite felt this high on life.. and this positive about possibilities.... My life is headed in an awesome direction and I'm buckled in for the ride.
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