It's A Wonderful Feeling.

I seem to get closer and closer to what I have been seeking for years now... some freedom... but it still seems just out of reach.  My spouse has a dependable car now.. My daughters both know I'm moving to another state.. my dad is certain of it too.. he just refuses to accept the way things are... and ignores any and all comments. My daughter has hurt her knee... we're not sure how it happened, but she is suppose to have a specialist look at it Friday.  I'm a little concerned over that, but I have faith that things will be okay. My daughters seem a bit more open now that my spouse and I are talking regularly.  Most of what she and I talk about are plans we are getting together for the divorce.  I'm still trying to work out how to pay for that... although I'm still waiting for a bonus I was supposed to get at the end of last year. My union says I've won my grievance... but my local officials tell me I should just be glad we still have a job. Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me, but I've dealt with so much of that already. I am just going to take it a step at a time.. My last doctor visit was a clean bill of health.. so that's one load off my mind. My mind just seems to be rambling lately, though.. so much to take care of.. so many plans to make..I'm thinking my best option for the moment is to try to get transferred to Harper's Ferry, WV and try to take up a position at that center. I was there in 2001... and it seemed like a very nice center.  Plus.. I have a few contacts in that area.

I am in such a good place right now.. and I owe it all to the support I've had along the way... I'd be amiss without saying something about my BFF... she and I met 3 years ago.. and have been close since.. there were times when I thought maybe there might be more there, but it just never...clicked in that way... and you can't make something happen that isn't.. I am glad she understands that... but despite it all.. she's stood by me as a friend. ...through all my relationships online, she just was there... not requiring anything from me... nor asking something I couldn't give. She's always respectful of my relationships and the people I was seeing and I appreciate that... instead of tearing things down, she's always offered her support. She understands me like few others, and that's why she gets that we are much better off as just friends. I just wanted to make mention of that... because I think she deserves that recognition. ...in any case, she seems to be making much better progress with her life, and I know that she knows she can count on me for whatever support she might need on her journey to where it is she decides to head her path.

I do have someone I seem to be sharing a brain with... it's like every thought I have.. every idea that pops into my head.. she seems to know exactly what I'm thinking.. it's a nice feeling. I have found that in online relationships, the red flags.. however small they are... exist.. until now.. It's a total enigma... how there is absolutely nothing that raises any flags anywhere.. and I've been online long enough to recognize at least a little something when things aren't as they seem... I just chose to ignore it in the past and work through it... well... I'm in the best place I've ever been ... and I won't ever let that go. It's a wonderful feeling.