I'm A Lucky Guy.

Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things... but occasionally things just happen.. things that I have no control over... and I just am thankful they do happen.  I have begun a journey that I have never been on before... one where I can see a probable future.. and there are no issues with it. I've always thought I'd know for sure when I met the right person... and at times I thought maybe I had... but I'm glad I've always said things happen for a reason... I don't mean to disrespect anyone I've ever been involved with, but I guess that it's good that things happened the way they did. I wouldn't have thought so at the time... but my life has nothing but positive energy flowing through it now.  I don't have to be anything different than who I am.. and I'm accepted for that. I've had many wonderful deep conversations and have learned that I don't have to be worried or concerned about anything anymore. Yes.. I've fallen off the deep end.. and if someone chooses to believe there is an end in sight... I'm perfectly fine with that.. Anyone can choose to believe what they want to believe.  I just know things.. and I will stand by what I know.  It's not even... "I think.."  I can't pretend to not know what my future is headed toward.. in fact.. I have already had several conversations about that too. I enjoy life now... I have the most positive attitude I can ever remember having... and my journey to this point has all been worth it.  I think at most points in my life, I have always been the one to hold me back... maybe because there was always something not quite perfect... but the point of my life I am living now.. is nothing but perfect.  Even the small imperfections add to how amazing things are. I choose where I am now.. where I am going.. and who I am going with.  I still have time for my friends.. as I am still the same person I've always been. I just choose not to be the one to always take charge... in all aspects of any relationship.. or friendship I've been in.. it has always seemed to me that I was the one who had to lead ... maybe that is part of my personality... but I want to share that.. I enjoy having someone in my life who can drive sometimes.. who can make their ideas and desires known.. I'm not only talking sexually.. I'm talking about someone who can speak up for themselves... most anyone I've ever known has an issue with being able to do that... it's like they only want to do or say something.. if it's okay with me... well.. that leaves me with the decision... is this going to happen?... or that? ...and how?  ....The ball keeps being served into my court with me to do something with it.  Most people have a problem with making decisions... because they aren't comfortable enough with a relationship to put forth how they think things should go... or maybe they just aren't as involved in the relationship as they should be...  Anyway.. those days are all past me now... I'm living my life the way I want to... and sharing it how I've always thought it should be shared... I am always reachable.. those that still wish to be a part of my life... I'm still here.. I only refuse to be the only person to make a friendship or relationship work.. and it looks like I've got the support I need in that.. I'm a lucky guy. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Everyone has an agenda.

How do we know how what repercussions will arise tomorrow from our actions.  I am atop my tower... watching the world from up here.. I see so much lies and deceit from up here.. I honestly do trust a few people now.. to a varying degree.. I just don't know when they can be sucked into a situation.. or do things they wouldn't normally do... based on misinformation.. or their perception.. I see so many people get tricked.. into making poor decisions.. People are gullible. The world is full of traps and deception. I think sometimes people get the idea that life is a game.. that dating requires intimacy... I see people start into online relationships.. and they figure that the first thing on the agenda is to explore the sexual chemistry... online relationships.. if they're truely ever going to mean anything.. need to be treated like real life.. you don't just jump into bed with someone you are just getting to know..  the online world.. moves at a much slower pace.. as far a...
Read more

Better Off Without Me In It.

When I read over some of my past blog entries... I feel like I come across as psycho-depressive.  Sure...I'm not as optimistic as I once was... but life tends to do that to people over a period of time.. There really isn't much wrong with me other than having a very cynical viewpoint on life. I don't mean to make it seem like I've been done wrongly.. or that I am never going to function in life.  I know a lot of what I post is about how I am okay.. but I can't stress that enough.  I don't really need much more than I have now.. except maybe a change of scenery with where I am living.  Any one of you who has felt trapped in a room for years and years would probably come across being just as cynical. ...I am not saying I've had it worse off than anyone else.. I'm just saying my experiences have been different... so to judge who I am.. or what I am.. or am not capable of.. is completely unfair.. of course... life is pretty much given to be unfair in the fir...
Read more