Evidently... I Was Wrong.

I'm off tomorrow... going back to the doc to see what the hell happened with my vasectomy... I mean.. it wasn't a pleasant experience... it was supposed to be simple though... and then that's it.... fixed. Only in my case, it didn't take... I have no idea why.... but I was out $1300 of my own that the insurance didn't cover... for nothing. Seems like my life has been a series of bumps lately and I am getting worn pretty thin. But I'm stronger than that... I'll be okay... just need to pause and get my second wind.  I've come through far worse and kept on going... I don't know how many more times I can roll with the punches though. Part of me just wants to go to sleep and sleep for years.. but I can't do that... I wouldn't want to do that.  The next thing I'm looking forward to is in May... my daughter's graduation... I told her I'd be there... and I intend on keeping that promise.  They've screwed up my W2 form at work... for some reason they have the wrong transfer date.. which is a long story in itself where someone has screwed me from my old job. ...and it just doesn't seem to be going away. All this compounded by the fact that my dad doesn't seem to be getting any better... even though I've convinced him to take medication... it just doesn't help... He needs to keep in constant contact throughout the weekends or any day he know's I'm off... calling every 2 - 3 hours to make certain he knows where I am.. and what I'm doing... but I'm not going to turn this into a rant about Dad... I could fill a book with just that.  I listened to a book on CD... "Shit My Dad Says" ....and I guess I'm not the only guy with a difficult-to-deal-with father. I loaned it to a friend to listen to... but I'm certain it never did get listened to... Stuff I find I want to share with people... well.. they don't give it much importance in their lives... it seems as though a lot of it is that way. I need to not place so much importance on people and sharing stuff... because of the way people generally are... I find that I can't confide much in most, anyway.  I've tried a few times... with somewhat important stuff... but it generally gets trivialized... so why should I put myself out there and share the very important stuff.

Maybe I'm PMSing again... I don't know what it is... but my emotions seem to run the gambit sometimes... it doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. I need to shut down and keep those feelings in check... I had a person today get mad at me because I didn't confide in how badly I've been feeling... but when I pointed out this blog... and said to read it... I was completely ignored.. even though I sort of laid it all out there... I thought maybe I could open up once that person understood where I was emotionally... but instead of trying to get on the same page with me.. that person chose to trivialize what I was saying...as the way with most people.. so yes... I got even more irritated. I'm pretty sure that I've told anyone close to me about this blog...and how I am able to put things down here.. but almost no one reads it anymore... most don't even care enough to remember the web address... I understand why most don't, because I've cut down on my posting tremendously... but I'm hoping to do much more posting... it gives me a bit of an outlet... even if nothing more than for me to get things out... I thought there were a few people in my life I could do that with... but evidently... I was wrong.

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