I Will Be Solid On This.

Been busy and not... trying to not let my dad have much fun this time... he's talking like he really doesn't care if he goes back home or not... I can put up for a few weeks.. but then I'm going to training... and I'm not giving him a key... so if he wants to stay here while I'm gone.. he'll have to break down a door or something... one thing is for certain... if he's here too much, I'm moving... I can't deal... and he doesn't listen when you tell him to leave you alone for a bit... My sisters know all too well that he doesn't pay attention when you tell him not to come back.. he's not welcome.. because they have told him that... and he still shows back up.. and just walks in... I've taken great pains not to give him a key... and I'm not showing him where the extra ones are... I told him yesterday that I understood why no one there has much time for him... he tries to run everyone's life.. and he doesn't listen... he always has an excuse... so he said... "I guess you don't want me here either... I'll go"...  I told him "goodbye" Then he said it would probably be better if he just went to sleep and didn't wake back up.... I told him I felt like that at times too.. he pretends like he's going to go....but he's still here... I did tell him later that I put up with more from him than I would anyone else on the planet... and that I do love him... but he just can't stop being so controlling... he doesn't see it.. he came up with more excuses and then everything reverted back to the way it was before the conversation... He makes between 150 to 200 phone calls a day... leaving messages... 10 seconds long.. and if he does get someone... he just asks a question or two.. usually how the weather is... but everyone he calls is in the same town.. so the weather is the same from call to call.. and he asks what they're doing... then he says.. "well.. I'll talk to you later.."  He has a problem.. but if you say anything to him.. he looks hurt that he's been called out for about a minute.. then he completely forgets it... so this is my dad.. and that's how he will be until he passes on.

I sorta feel trapped back in my room again... I'm hiding out from him... I can't really go anywhere... because he's healing from a broken arm.. and he will go out any time I do.. and just jump in the car... sorta like a dog ready to take a trip.. even if his arm is okay... he can't walk very far... without running out of breath... and then he starts complaining about his health... so ...it's all about driving.. but he really doesn't want to go anywhere.. he just wants to keep an eye on me..

Now, he wants to go get soup... because he doesn't like any of the 12 flavors of soup I currently have in cans in my cabinet... I think he's just bored and wants to get out... well.. I have news for him.. the store is about 2 minutes away... so he's not going to get out long.. unless he wants to walk a lot.. I think maybe I'm just being a bit petty... but I need to stand my ground... I don't really get much else out of life I want.. I will be solid on this.