I Always Do.

I dislike throwing up. Whether I ate something  bad.. or indulged in too much food.. that's still the question, but I feel like death warmed over at the moment. I haven't been able to sit still until just now... You know how it feels.. when you KNOW you're going to throw up..  Earlier, I was so miserable, I was trying to bring about the inevitable and make myself throw up.. my body wasn't cooperating. Evidently, I was supposed to suffer for awhile before tossing my cookies.  I still don't feel great, but I feel so much better than I did.  I was supposed to go to the center this weekend and work on my final student evaluations, but yesterday just became a lazy day where I did nothing.. and this morning, when I woke up, it sounded like the big bad wolf was outside.. and the three little pigs were in here with me.. It was speaking of tornado watch for our area.. so I decided to fix something to eat and wait it out until it let up a bit...which it never did... and then on top of that.. I've decided I will never eat processed chicken breast from a can anymore.. even if it  has a year left on it.  It DID taste good going down.. not so good coming back up.  I might have paired it with too many vegetables.. and my eyes were bigger than my stomach.  That is how I am sometime.. I want more than I can actually handle... but I think we're all like that at times.. not only with food.. but with our lives.  I like to try to live safe, but occasionally I end up taking chances and committing myself to things that I know better. I am not in any position to commit to anything for awhile. I have this great idea about how things are supposed to be, but what if it doesn't go off like I plan. Certainly, I will be leaving.. and I really need to make that a priority, but with my job like it is.. I don't have a clue what I can actually do at the moment.  I am thinking that after the election, we will know more. I have decided to apply for the manager position. ...maybe I am biting off more there also.  I don't know. I spent last weekend visiting a friend... and it was a very nice visit... long overdue, actually... but we had a good time... even in the sick shape my stomach is in.. I could still redo some of those meals.  It started off horribly, as I forgot my wallet and luckily had my government ID with me.. but still drove without my license.  I wired money from my account to cover my expenses using my internet account.  I think that when visiting someone, too many times we get caught up in the expectations of what is or is not supposed to happen. Luckily, I was able to just make it a relaxing visit and just recharge.  Even still it was very productive... but I hated not having my credit cards for shopping... so I was limited on what I could purchase.  I was able to be myself for the most part, but I felt a bit irritated at being kept tabs of the whole weekend.  I understand that anything can happen, and that most people are untrustworthy, but it did give me a sense that there were things still unresolved.  It's none of my business. I enjoyed the visit... and where things are not much different now than before my trip, I made it a point not to be negative during the whole weekend... and I was successful at that. 

For the most part, I still don't have much of a clue about anything.. and limbo is my life. Next year, I could be living anywhere.. that depends on my job.. but I am doubtful it will be Kentucky.. at least I hope it isn't.  I need to start taking a more proactive part in my life and start retraining myself for my job. I hope to balance work and my games a bit better than what I have been.  I know that this weekend was when I planned to do a little catch up.. but that never happened.  I will figure it out.. and I will adjust.. I always do.