As Always.

You know.. it's amazing that as many people are as sane as they are... or maybe most everyone is actually insane and we think we might be normal. It's difficult to tell sometimes. I do know that the world is riddled with incompetent people... so Monday when they took out $19k out of my retirement account.. for buying this house... it was supposed to go to my bank... at 3 pm Monday when it was took out... or so I was told.  When I didn't see it in my account... that night.. the next morning... I panicked. I called my bank and they knew nothing of it... I called my TSP (retirement) people and finally was informed that it took 3 - 5 days after it was withdrawn to deposit into my bank account.  Way to give me an anxiety attack people... it could say something like that in the notes somewhere. I knew I had a paper trail... but I can just see someone mistakenly putting in the wrong account and it going to ...somewhere else.  I know several people that if given 19k in their bank account.. would close that account... after withdrawing the money. Yeah... I know some pretty unscrupulous people.

Waiting for the house deal to close.. has put a bit of strain... plus at work.. I'm handling 2 classes at the same time for the time being... not sure when that will end, but I'm thinking it's going to be awhile.  I am going to start putting in for the overtime very soon.. I still enjoy my work, but there's so much happening there.. and I'm the new Union steward ...I'm still not sure how that happened... but that's the way it is now.

I sometimes wonder if I'm so conceited and arrogant.. I mean, I mainly focus on me..  Perhaps it's because there's not really anyone else in my life to focus on... I really don't even put all that much effort into myself.  I guess I flip-flop my opinions of do I want someone else in my life. Do I prefer being alone.. I can't even see a happy medium there. I don't like the idea of moving into such a large place knowing that there will probably be no one in there except me... not that I need someone to live with.. but in the 2 1/2 years I've been here... I've had maybe a dozen visitors.. and maybe 2 this year... well.. maybe 3..  I read through a thread on one of the sites about needing human touch.. and I really don't have that.. I was hugged by my daughters the week I was back in Kentucky for my birthday.. but other than that... I did have some contact with my ex girlfriend over 6 months ago... that's pretty much it... well.. I have a couple of friends who have given me a hug, but seeing them is so infrequent, I really don't know if that counts. I just miss a bit of human companionship... I went as far as contacting many people on several dating sites earlier this year... but no one is interested.. even in just friendship. It seems I really don't have much of a solution to this problem... I'm not going to go around hugging total strangers...  I maintain my professional attitude at work... so not happening there. I will just wait and see what the future holds... as always.