There Goes The Trust... Again.

I'm slightly irritated ...I made a post on one of the sites about trust.. and I really didn't say what I wanted to say how I wanted to say it... I didn't want to point the finger at any one in particular... but I the main reason I have a problem with trust isn't that I need someone to do something ...or be someone... I just come to depend on people who tell me one thing for months and months.. and in some cases a year.. to find out that everything they have been saying... isn't actually true.. because they've changed their minds about it all.. and then leave me and my emotions hanging out to dry.. the trust comes in when you feel like you can believe at least most of what someone is telling you.. where you come to depend on it.. then guess what.. it's all bullshit.. the problem is that it is the same that happens with more than one relationship I've been in.. and then someone takes the time to let you know that they aren't that way.. and that they feel this way... the same way you do... and they aren't like the last person I was with... then Wham! ...guess what... I fell for it.. not only that.. I did it again... and again.. What was that Gomer Pyle said.. fool me once.. shame on you... fool me twice shame on me.. I won't even begin to guess what being fooled as many times as I have constitutes.. Yes.. I'm a bit emotional now.. because it's posts like what I made that brings it all to the surface again... the fact that I believed so much what I was told... THAT is what trust is about.. that's at least what I was thinking about.. then I learn that the person I've put so much faith in.. has no regard for what's been said.. not just on the spur of the moment.. but over.. and over... and over again.. so it becomes difficult to believe much of what anyone says... I built my walls high.. I still remember the process.. even telling people my walls are high... and I don't want to get involved.. I guess I was a conquest.. a game.. at least it appears that way from my view.. maybe I'm just seeing it from one side.. I know everything I've done isn't always followed the trust of someone else, but it was a difficult learning experience.. I honestly believe that most people don't even remember all of what they were saying.. I do know one thing.. if it was just meeting for sex... I would never have agreed to that.. under any circumstances.. I guess that's my fault for setting my expectations so high... was meeting anyone a perfect experience?.. no.. of course not... but my whole outlook was that it was a first step.. I never want to base any relationship on just sex.. I suppose because the sexual content of an online relationship is so strong that most tend to think of it as only that... but I never did.. that was only a part of it.. I can understand where someone may grow to have different feelings over time... and that could be discussed.. but in each case it was like... one week.. everything was wonderful.. so many open feelings.. the next thing you know.. it's almost completely opposite.. I never will understand how that happens. Yes.. it hit me hard.. yes.. I retreated each time.. because it's the only thing I could do and not break down emotionally.. I always put all of who I am into a relationship... and for someone to be open and accepting of that .. then suddenly do a 180 degree turn and go the other way... well.. there goes the trust.. again.