I Might Want More Than I Can Have.

I looked at a house yesterday... I am hoping it works out. I would love to have a place to call my own.. I throw away so much money on rent... and it seems so wasteful. The place I'm looking at is really a bit too big for me.. and has a bit more land than I wanted... and is at the high end of what I can afford... but I plan to maintain a positive attitude about it all. I'm trying to work on that.. as I know I come across at times as a very negative person. I suppose it takes a bit of practice... it doesn't help that I expose myself to so much negativity in many aspects of my life.  At work... there are several people there that don't like working there due to the incompetency of others.. I suppose things have a way of working themselves out.. Then I go to the sites... and every one of us there is some type of broken... at least in relationships.. people look to find what they're missing.. and I'm fairly certain we have all want to find something to make us happy.
I was forced last night to look at the say I am... and I have to say... I did discover a few things about myself.. I always want to fix things... just because that's the type of person I am.. I like to do that because it gives me satisfaction... but my rights end... where another's begin.. and I was a bit oblivious to the fact that what I had in my mind would make someone else uncomfortable.. I was confronted about it. I realize sometimes its best to avoid conflict even if it means alienating someone in a group.  I was always brought up to believe that you don't treat someone different just because you don't agree with them... I'll have to make an effort at that...
I still have my dad up here.. he is staying at least through the end of the week.  I'm hoping that he is having a decent time, but not too decent.. I don't want him coming back in another 3 weeks.. I care about him greatly.. but he's one of the most annoying persons on the planet. I would miss him if something ever happens, but part of me is braced for it to happen. This week has just been in slow motion.. something makes it seem much longer with him here..
I was contacted by a couple of people from the site.. and they consider me a friend... but I still have to wait to see if that occurs.. I hope they aren't looking for anything substantial because I'm not in the market for that.. at least not from anyone who really can't be available in my life. I might want more than I can have.

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