Comfortable In My Own Head

It's going to be a great week... why?  Because I said so.. haven't I told you already.... I'm almost always right??  I know.. I know.. it's almost like an emotional rollercoaster with me.. what can I say.. I'm a Gemini... actually I don't feel glum all the time.. or even most of it.. not anymore.. I am as mistrustful as ever.. just because.. but that doesn't mean that I can't be satisfied with life.  I've always said.. I will adjust to any situation... years ago.. I decided that I would lose weight.. and that I would train myself not to like desserts... and guess what... it took awhile.. but I no longer want desserts... there are a couple that have a good taste.. and I will eat on occasion.. but 99% of the time.. I'd rather just go back for meat if I'm still hungry.  It's a case of mind over matter.. The mind is very powerful... it can put us anywhere you want to go.. emotionally.  I don't think it takes all kinds of drugs to get yourself in the right frame of mind... it just takes emotional conditioning.  I am working on my emotional conditioning ...and have been for a little while now.   I remember just a few months back.. where my mind would always have sex not too far from it.. and now.. I rarely think about it... I had a conversation about movie stars we fantasize about.. and perfectly honestly.. there were a few I thought about in the past.. but I really don't have any fantasies like that anymore... it's all a part of my new thought processes.. I will be okay without sex in my life.. I really, truly feel that way.. I never was able to have sex without the emotional commitment.. and commitment requires trust.. and there is no way I will allow anyone that much trust in my life, anymore.  ...and no.. it's not a negative thing... not unless you want to look at it that way.  I trust myself.. I have a degree of trust for a very small number of people around me.. but I don't even have sex with the one person I do trust.. myself.. yup.. it's been at least 4 months now since I masturbated.. and at first.. I think my body might have missed it.. but now... it's all good.. I really haven't even thought about it.. which is kinda strange for someone who at one time was up to many times every day.  I am comfortable in my own skin now.. and I'm getting comfortable in my own head.

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