I Don't Prefer The Icing.

Monday, Monday... I have the song from The Mamas and  the Papas going through my head now.. The start of another week in my life.  I know that Valentine's Day is Thursday.. but it's the same as any other day for me.. except that my manager is taking off Thursday and Friday... so I'm stuck being in charge again.  I don't mind it all that much, but I think we are having someone come to the center for an extended period of time that will be reporting all the happenings.. and  I would hate to think things fell apart on my watch.  I also know that this is the last week I will have every body part I currently have.. and it's a little scary.. I have to go Wednesday to get pre-checked in to the hospital... and blood work.. yuck.. I really do hate needles. I don't know what it is.. but I'd rather be stabbed by a knife as a needle. ...just a phobia I don't think I'll ever shake.. even exposing myself to one of the worst needle experiences I could imagine... didn't do the trick.   In any case, I think I'm becoming a monk.. my mind rarely drifts to ideas that are risque... I can even talk about it.. and my mind still really isn't going there.. I think I have become accustomed to a new way of thinking... I like my body energy I have now. It's like I am able to focus more on things that I want to accomplish... without being distracted.. I do remember when I would meet someone of the opposite sex, I would think.. hmmmm.... doable?  I never realized how perverted I really was until just lately... but I am doing an awesome job of dealing without.

My dad called yesterday several times.. he wants to start getting back together with the family dinners on Sunday... if they wanna have them earlier in the evening.. I can get on board with that.. but if they are going to wait until 7 pm.. and then we have to drive home after...and then try to get the kids ready for school the next morning.. well.. it just isn't happening.

I know this is a somewhat generic post... all of my posts aren't going to be crashing waves of pessimistic ideas crashing out.  I only need to deal with those things every once in awhile... This is my place for whatever I'm thinking about.. besides.. this post isn't over yet..  most of the time, I don't even know what all is going to be brought up.  Besides.. I kinda think my viewpoints sometime are bringing other people down... do I really care though?  ...not particularly... I say what I think based on what I know.. Many times I may not have all the answers... but I still have a pretty good insight into the thought processes of lonely people.. I will say this.. you have to accept the loneliness.. or at least be happy with yourself... as I've said before.. if you aren't happy with you.. then why should you expect anyone else to be.  I have never considered myself very handsome.. but I am perfectly fine with that.. it's my actions that I control to be who I am.  I will admit that a pretty face does initially attract people..but to me.. it's all icing on the cake.. and when I eat cake.. I  don't prefer the icing.