It Just Takes A Step At A Time.

I had a dream that I was driving a bus last night.. and really had no clue what I was doing... I was trying to fit through places that a bus wouldn't go... and damaging all kinds of things in the process.. I suppose I have a tendency to try to do that... put myself in places that maybe I don't belong.. I know lately I have had several dreams warning me of my unhealthy eating habits... I'm not huge mind you... but I'm certain my cholesterol is up... I'm sure my blood sugar is up.. and the last I checked my blood pressure is higher than it has ever been.  I need to give myself a wake-up call and start eating just a bit more healthily.. I really have a wonderful reason for living... and I need to keep that in mind.  I think sometimes we all do things that aren't the most healthy for us.. Maybe it's due to habit.. maybe we just want to feel good. I have noticed that when my dad calls me, I end up just standing near the refrigerator for a few minutes... and my dad can call several times a day. I've also noticed that my spouse will encourage me to eat.. even though I raised my concerns about my eating habits awhile back. I don't think she's actively trying to cause me harm... but I know passively that we are all involved in things we never think about.

The mind is a sharp tool.... if we let it be open.. and let it do its job.  I think that most people have the capability to do so much more than they actually accomplish. So.. what holds us back?  ...is it fear of failing?  fear of getting hurt... or some other kind of fear?   ...Maybe it's not fear at all.. maybe it's laziness... I find myself thinking about how lazy I am sometimes... but then I lose the motivation to make the changes I want to make. I have a tendency to do that... not because someone forces me one way or another... I just start becoming lazy.. then I give up... but I'm not that person anymore.. well.. I am.. but I truly want to be more healthy.. so I'm going to focus on doing what's best for me... not what's good for everyone else... although I will always keep the people around me in mind.  I've been doing research and most everything I read.. is things I already know. It is just sometimes more difficult to surround yourself with fresh fruits and healthy foods if you live over an hour from the nearest market... and most fresh foods aren't "fresh" after a few days.. I like fruits... I can eat most vegetables.. but for some reason... a meal just doesn't seem to be a meal without meat.  That's okay... I can live with that.. but I tend to eat meat for two or three meals.. in one. I sort of become a "glutton" at times because I don't know when I'll get a chance to eat this certain food again... because of my circumstances.  I shouldn't think that way.  I will work on being the person I want to be.. not the person I feel I have to be.  It just takes a step at a time... 

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