Sometimes That's Difficult.
Two of my coworkers lost their mothers this week... it was sort of a sad week.. especially for them. worked with one of their mothers.. my neighbor is home from rehab.. he is doing much better. My cousin... came out of the closet awhile back... and divorced his wife of 16 years.. leaving her with 5 kids aged 15 to 5... the thing is... he is making a decent amount of money.... but isn't paying child support. his wife.. hasn't been able to support them and had to give them up... luckily my other cousin has taken them in... so there are 8 kids in the house now... even if it is her brother... she needs to get money from him for the support of his kids.. It's all a messed up situation... just like so many situations in this world..
It seems most people try to hide things... or pretend... and I may have even done a bit of that myself in days gone by... but I learned my lesson long ago... You can pretend to justify deception.. or lying.. any a variety of ways... but lying is lying.. It's when we start compromising ourselves... that we lose a bit of our innocence... and believe me.. most people don't have much innocence left. There are so many things that try to tear at our lives.. for some reason life likes to do that.. We have so much that antagonizes us.. I needed to blog at one time... daily.. to get all the frustration and issues out of my head... but now.. I have someone in my life that I can tell anything to... someone who I never have to worry about what I say. I appreciate having her in my life.. I've had one or two close friends in my past... but there was always certain lines that couldn't cross.. or certain things I felt I couldn't say... That's why I needed my blog. It's no longer an issue now.
I am not angry... nor upset at anyone... maybe a bit disappointed... I don't let anyone disappoint me often anymore.. as I am very cynical.. but it's the people I develop a degree of trust in.. that can get to me.. It's not always a romantic relationship that can cause me irritation. I have a belief that people need to earn my trust.. and that's not always easy. I always hope that maybe I can be wrong about the nature of people... but usually I am proven right... it's not like most people want to cause drama.. but they bring it upon themselves by allowing it in. I always hope to be transparent in who I am... one thing I found out long ago.. you don't have to remember what you said to who that way... stay honest because the truth doesn't change. It causes so few issues... I don't pretend to know everything about everything... but negativity always shows itself for what it is.. and secrets generally come out. That's why I choose not to live my life burying secrets. I am thankful for where I am now.. and what my future entails.. I either support people.. or I don't... and the people I support.. have earned that support. ...anyone can make a mistake... and I realize that.. I have made more than my share.. but the best way to keep from making mistakes... is to be open.. honest.. and fair... for some people.. sometimes that's difficult.
It seems most people try to hide things... or pretend... and I may have even done a bit of that myself in days gone by... but I learned my lesson long ago... You can pretend to justify deception.. or lying.. any a variety of ways... but lying is lying.. It's when we start compromising ourselves... that we lose a bit of our innocence... and believe me.. most people don't have much innocence left. There are so many things that try to tear at our lives.. for some reason life likes to do that.. We have so much that antagonizes us.. I needed to blog at one time... daily.. to get all the frustration and issues out of my head... but now.. I have someone in my life that I can tell anything to... someone who I never have to worry about what I say. I appreciate having her in my life.. I've had one or two close friends in my past... but there was always certain lines that couldn't cross.. or certain things I felt I couldn't say... That's why I needed my blog. It's no longer an issue now.
I am not angry... nor upset at anyone... maybe a bit disappointed... I don't let anyone disappoint me often anymore.. as I am very cynical.. but it's the people I develop a degree of trust in.. that can get to me.. It's not always a romantic relationship that can cause me irritation. I have a belief that people need to earn my trust.. and that's not always easy. I always hope that maybe I can be wrong about the nature of people... but usually I am proven right... it's not like most people want to cause drama.. but they bring it upon themselves by allowing it in. I always hope to be transparent in who I am... one thing I found out long ago.. you don't have to remember what you said to who that way... stay honest because the truth doesn't change. It causes so few issues... I don't pretend to know everything about everything... but negativity always shows itself for what it is.. and secrets generally come out. That's why I choose not to live my life burying secrets. I am thankful for where I am now.. and what my future entails.. I either support people.. or I don't... and the people I support.. have earned that support. ...anyone can make a mistake... and I realize that.. I have made more than my share.. but the best way to keep from making mistakes... is to be open.. honest.. and fair... for some people.. sometimes that's difficult.
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