I Do Know My Limits

I went to see the gastroenterologist today... just a pre appointment to be followed up with my first colonoscopy in September... It's supposed to be routine prevention for people 50+ ...I can't really say I'm enthused with being knocked out and having a Nikon shoved up my anus, but what can you do... I signed a thing saying he could remove any polyps he finds.. I just don't wanting him removing my balls from the inside.. I trust he knows how to guide the camera through unexplored territory. I was told that the stuff you drink the day before is the worst part of it... but I really can't see that being the case... My rectum is exit only... no matter what I might say on the site..  I may have actually been with someone once that slightly went there... but I was probably too nervous to remember.. I like being a tight ass.. I wanna keep it that way.

So... I've had an influx on people interacting with me on the sites.. not sure why really... I'm just the same as I was... but now I'm adamant on knowing my place... you can't depend on a relationship with someone that is already taken.. if they wanted to leave.. they would have.. and I can't see me being a dependency for someone so they can take that step..   ...and then there's the dating sites I belonged to.. I received several notifications lately that I have messages... but I'm not logging in to check them out... I like being the smart ass I am.. and most people can't handle that... so I'm in my safe little zone on the sites where nothing can happen... and I can flirt my ass off.. I can get that interaction and don't have to worry about putting myself out there... it makes it so much easier for me to be uninhibited this way... most everyone is married.. .so they can't really be serious.. if I actually felt like someone was serious...I'd probably freeze up and need to step back for a bit.. I guess I can understand why things can get too real... if someone is at the point where I am now.. I just have the advantage of not leading anyone along first... and knowing what it would do to them... I can't blame anyone for wanting to be involved with something more substantial... but I do know my limits..

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