I Will Continue To Strive For Improvement

So... it finally happened... at least for now. My overtime is no more. We'll see how long that lasts. They have someone in each of my 4 positions I've been covering, even though they are temporary contract people. They think I'll continue covering those positions as support along with my current position... well... I don't think it'll work out quite like that. I've had them do this before, then in less than 2 weeks, they'll ask me if I could stay over and do this... or do that.. and before you know it... I'm back on overtime again. I am not sure I'll be getting to go home for the holidays this year. Stupid virus! Right now the transmission rate is at its worst and my daughters are more concerned than ever. My ex disinfects everything she brings into the house... even the food. I have to hand it to her, she was pretty anal retentive when it comes to germs. I suppose some people are just like that. I know I'm a stubborn person too, I just try to remain flexible. I was discussing things with my roommate about her son. She was wondering why I let him get away with so much in my house. He likes doing little projects, and he means well. ...and the biggest factor... I don't really care. Now if he does things I have an issue with, I say things... like leaving many lights in the house on consistently... or forgetting to lock the door overnight. The biggest factor is a concern we discussed a long time ago... I don't care how legal it is elsewhere, if he brings recreational drugs into this house, he's got to go. I know people who partake.. and I have no problem with that. I actually have no problem with what a lot of things that go on elsewhere as long as it doesn't affect me. I have never taken any recreational drug and I won't. It's a promise I made to myself... one that I plan to keep. Really, all promises should be kept... as should anything you say you're going to do. A person is only as good as their word. Maybe that's why I'm too blunt. I have hurt people unintentionally by telling the truth. In the past, maybe I wasn't all that worried about my character.... but I realize that when I'm gone, the only part of me that will be left is who I was. I figure anyone in my life should realize who I am and what I do. Even though I never purposefully lie, unless it's obvious and just for humor sake, I do something that's almost just as bad. I will manipulate what I say to avoid answering directly. I suppose that's deceitful as much as lying is, but it's my "out" to keep from hurting someone. I won't lie if asked a direct question. But I'm somewhat skillful in answering without actually answering. I should have been a politician. No... actually I shouldn't have. I have a sordid past that would come out. ...and then there is this blog that someone would have a field day with. I go back over 10 years now... Too much fodder for the skeezy journalists to fabricate a blown up version of the truth. I feel like maybe this world has too many people who can only see what they are fed. I prefer someone who can think their own thoughts and make up their own mind. It's no major issue if they can't, those are people I won't put a lot of stock in their character. I don't seek out conflict, but I enjoy knowing people aren't telling me something they think I want to hear. I invite differing opinions in my life. My housemate and I are of differing opinions on many things, I think that's why I call her my friend. She calls me on what I say, even though it's the truth. I appreciate people who can be as blunt with me as I am with them. It's not that I am trying to intentionally hurt anyone... or can you call it that, if I know what I'm going to say isn't what they want to hear? I am saying no, but it's something to think about. I try to explain myself when someone gets irritated or upset with what I say. Usually, it's the delivery I've used... and sometimes it gets misconstrued. If given the chance, I will try to elaborate on what comes out of my mouth. It's the instructor in me that talks like that. I've gotten to the point where I explain even simple stuff to people. I know that's something I need to work on... and I will. I realize I still have many faults. I think most of us do. Life is something we need to continually work at... trying to improve who we are, instead of being lazy and stagnant. If we choose not to try, we'll end up stuck in one place. I don't want that in my life. There are areas that I am happy with and in those areas I will re-evaluate on occasion to make sure that's still okay with me. For the other areas, I will continue to strive for improvement.