I Will Keep Waiting.

I think I'm growing emotionally.. at least I hope I am.  I see the development of my friends and at times.. only wish I could help them. I keep my interaction very limited though.  Still.. when I am able.. I try to put forth a few words of encouragement.  No one has to live their life any way they don't want to live it.  Sometimes it just takes time for people to see that. One of the nice things about life is.. you really do always have a choice... sometimes.. the choices suck pond scum.. but there is still a choice. A person has to be happy with who they are.. before they can accomplish anything meaningful.. I know I've said this before.. but it's just a chance for me to reiterate it.  I have left behind parts of my life that no longer apply to me.. and I will continue to keep people around me who have something meaningful to contribute to my life.. or at least those that are not destructive.. I suppose that's part of the reason I cut people out of my life at times.. because all I can see is a destructive force in my life.. whether they have chosen knowingly.. or unknowingly.. the result is still the same.  I would never ask someone to keep me in their life either if I thought I were a destructive force.. and for the most part.. I've never been able to see my influence on others.. I just rely on them to be honest with me and let me know.. at least give me some sort of warning.. but alas.. things just seem to happen in my life without much of a warning whatsoever... even my job.. I know something will happen soon.. it's all bubbling to the surface.. I was certain there would be some sort of resolution by now.. but still no word  has been given.  My supervisor is there on temporary assignment.. They haven't even posted his job yet.. I was hoping to apply for it.. but we will have to wait and see if they even post it at all.  I really do hate the waiting.. but I'm getting used to it.  I am putting much of my life on hold.. and for what?  I love the job I am doing.. because I feel I am making a difference.  I just need some stability somewhere.. in some aspect of my life.  I guess I will keep waiting.

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