I exist

Here I sit.. on a bus.. knowing that I was supposed to be somewhere else this weekend. I want to be able to let things go... but I'm not able.  I never did anything wrong except love her too much.  I won't let myself do that again. I can't believe in love. I am  afraid to feel strongly anymore.. it is all just a blur to me now. The best I can hope for is some bright spots in my days where I can forget what has happened.  I can do that if I keep my mind occupied.  I find every little thing reminding me of how stupid I was for trusting feelings. I won't allow myself to do that again.  I won't be hurt..  or hurt someone else that much.  I would rather hurt.. or be hurt some.. now. I exist. That's all for now.

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