Secrets

I think that the worst thing.. is knowing that I've lost my best friend.  Best friends are people who can share most anything.. can trust each other with anything and know that they will understand.  Sometimes best friends hurt each other.. but it's because of the truth... not because things are kept from them. I know she just didn't want to hurt me.. but I would much have preferred her to be open.. and honest with me from the beginning about what she wanted...  yes.. it would have hurt.   But not as much as it does now.. if she had told me..  I could trust her at least.   Now.. she gets added to a long line of people.. who couldn't tell me the truth.. because they didn't want to "hurt me" ... or maybe she just couldn't deal with the decisions she was making.. I don't really know. She closed herself to me awhile back.  I felt it.. and I tried to pry my way back in.. I shouldn't have done that.  I have very, very few people I will trust anymore..  Most people will disappoint you if you end up trusting them..  I know so many secrets that I will never tell.. even ones that friends keep from each other.. and still call themselves friends.. I guess that life is like that.  ...all about keeping secrets.  I never could do that from someone I really cared about.  I almost have on occasion, but I finally end up sharing things with them.. even if it hurts them.  I guess I don't really have to worry about it anymore.  There are just too many things we hide. I pride myself on not keeping secrets from those I truly care about.

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