I am usually accessible

Relationships aren't really all that difficult.. once you establish them with the right person. It takes little to no effort to be the person you are... If that person accepts you... then you have a wonderful relationship... if someone chooses to try to be someone else from the beginning.. that's where things screw up in a hurry. I have witnessed so many people who aren't doing so hot in relationships.. but then I've noticed there is so much of themselves that they hide.. There's no wonder that it doesn't work.... I'm glad that I've overcome the crap of trying to hide things.. of trying to be someone that I'm not.. I don't feel the need to be anyone other than who I am... and I have someone that accepts that.. and supports me in all I do. I also have friends that give me support.. sometimes when I back away.... I do it because I just don't know how to cope.. I think we all do that at times.. we sometimes push people away that we really care about... I know I really don't want people to go away from me.. but at times.. I'm just at a lack of being able to control how I feel.. and I don't like that.. I don't like people to see me like that.  I think we all look for a certain amount of control in our lives.. and it's unnerving when we can't get it. I lose myself occasionally.. but I am still the same person inside that I try to show outside..  Maybe I don't always do a great job of it.. but I am trying my best. Once I show someone different.. I'm lying to myself.. and those around me.. and I HATE lying.. I have been contemplating my role in the online world lately.  Why am I still on the sites.. I have online friends that support me through messenger... I don't like to think that I may be looking for a bit of valuation from the sites I frequent.. I have my blog here.. to get my feelings out.. but I suppose that might be limited at times.. I only blog once a day at the moment.. I could increase that.. but I guess the sites are a way I can socially interact with a variety of people.. My friends aren't always available.. and I understand that.. I try to be available for them.. but even still there are times when I'm not reachable, myself.   I will be in Nashville today.. and won't be able to correspond with anyone.. but that's okay... I am usually accessible.

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