It's not just about the sex.

Slightly off topic.. is the subject of.. sex... I think that human nature dictates most of us.. to seek out sexual gratification.. unfortunately this causes conflict....both with each other.. and within ourselves.  I believe that people will behave and react somewhat differently if they have abstained from sex.. or sexual activity for any length of time. So then there is the debate.. what constitutes sex. I had a former.. partner that insisted that if she didn't have intercourse.. there was no sex. I don't really subscribe to that theory. To me sex is about 75 percent mental anyway... so sex can take the place of many forms.. including phone.. cyber.. mutual masturbation.. oral.. anal.. and then straight intercourse.  I believe that a lot of the strong emotions we feel.. is intensified when we have experienced a drastic decline.. or stoppage of sexual activity. I think that is why some people feel the need to cheat.... or seek fulfillment elsewhere... I have to admit.. it is ONE factor that pushed me away from my spouse.. but I think there are many more issues there.. including the inability to communicate.. and the lack of things in common. At the moment.. the only thing that keeps me here.. is my kids... and if I felt I could provide for them without causing difficult times financially... I would be out the door already.  Like I said before.. I am no different than a lot of people.. I crave physical contact. I think many of my online friends are in their current situations and modes of thinking due to having experienced an eradication of sex from their daily lives.  I want sex... daily.. does that make me a nymphomanic?  ....but I don't just get involved with someone.. only because of this desire... I will never do that... it's a reason why I put certain.. restrictions on myself. I will never let a relationship be just about sex... unfortunately there are people who do. I can fantasize about things.. and I do... I let myself be taken to my own private fantasy world.. I can be very good... There are things that I severely miss.. I want to give and receive.. I have given oral sex for approximately 2 hours.. and enjoyed it immensely. I will, at some point.. do even more than that.. 3.. 4 hours perhaps?  ...but it's not about one thought.. it's not about the number of orgasms.. it's not even about an orgasm at all.. sure it's a nice finish.. but I think it's much more about the journey.. than the arrival at the destination. I love being open with the way that I am.. but I also choose to keep a part of myself.. intimate.. for myself and my partner alone.. that's why I don't like being specific about my experiences.. those things aren't for sharing.. and don't need validation from anyone. I like who I am.. I love my tastes.. and openness.. but I have moved on from having any intimacy in my marriage.. EVER again... I want never to have to be worried that maybe I am not enough in all aspects of a relationship... The sexual part of it can be wonderful.. but I think there is so much more to any relationship than that. It's not just about the sex.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Something I Have Learned Well.

It's odd how we interact with others on so many levels... one would assume by my wide range of references that I have a large assortment of friends.. In all actuality, the people in my circle of friends could be counted on my hands.. and close friends... well..  easily on one hand. I'm not what I would consider a social butterfly... but to be honest.. I sometimes like crowds.. I enjoy having groups of people around me.. I don't stick out like a sore thumb.. and sometimes getting lost in the rest of the world... isn't such a bad thing. How often do you go and "people watch" ....and then think about those people once you're gone... not very often, I'm guessing.. not unless one did something completely out of the ordinary.  I just like having the feeling that I'm normal.. an ordinary person... I just sat here in this chair for most of the weekend.. not really accomplishing anything.. nothing constructive by any means... I feel as though maybe I'm...
Read more

Stay Out Of Things Where I Don't Belong.

I am starting to get used to the hours... I think... who knows.. one day I feel like I was drug out of my bed kicking and screaming... other days I feel like I've been poured full of coffee and energy drinks... I've cut down on my morning coffee by the way... Oh... I didn't blog about that... after first moving here, I started drinking flavored coffee in the mornings... but I've decided I don't want to get dependent on that.... I still have the occasional coffee... but as I've said before... too much of anything is a bad idea... so I cut back.  I also decided to give up something for Lent... I might have blogged about it... but I tried to think of something that would be a sacrifice.. so I gave up masturbation.  I know that's not really in the spirit of Lent... as far as giving up something like that... but hey... I can't think of many other things I enjoy more... especially with my sex life as it is... I sorta don't have the inspiration at this poi...
Read more