I can live with that.

As I've stated before.. I sometimes wrestle with the thoughts of why I'm still posting.. a friend asked me if I was posting maybe for someone else... because she was at that site.. I have been thinking about that. I think we all subconsciously do things without realizing it.. but I'd like to think that I don't have an agenda.. I'm not close-minded enough not to weigh the possibility though.  Then I get to thinking.. about why I post at the other site.. and pretty much come up with the exact same reasons. I said something yesterday that I feel is one of the most profound things I've come up with in awhile.. we all need to learn from our past.. not live in it. I look to move forward with my life.. and I have a great opportunity to do that.. with the support of the people in my life. Anyone that says they can do it all on their own.. is much stronger than I am.. I appreciate the friends I have.. the support I'm given.. and feel lucky to be given such wonderful opportunities.
I took my students down to test yesterday.. and all three of them passed.. When I take them to test.. for the most part a third party independent testing site determines how well I've done my job.. There are always those that don't pass.. because they just didn't study enough.. but usually they're close.. and I can live with that.  But lately I feel like I'm doing a more thorough job. I still wonder about my job.. tension is high where I work.. and there is still fear of closing the center.. I'm still looking forward to that announcement. I am going to need to think about contingency plans.. on the off chance they don't.. but I am keeping my eye open for possible job leads.. I want to remain in government service..
For the most part.. I am just going to take things as they come.. for now. ...and even though I say no expectations.. I find myself starting to develop them... but I can live with that.

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