Can't Get Blood From A Turnip

Calgon take me away!! ..isn't that how the old commercial goes? ...maybe one of the nice men in the clean white jackets will do that instead..  no... I am kidding of course, but I seriously need something for stress relief... as I think my stress level is at an all time high.  ...no.. the stress intensity actually isn't.. but the buildup is there... I've been in far worse shape as noted in blogs a year or so ago.. it just seems that the issues go from one thing to another.. and by the time I start to adjust to something.. then something else decides to have a whack at me.  It's been going on now for the past couple of years...  The strange thing is.. it might have been before then.. but I really just didn't mind it as much.  It's funny how when we think we're in a deeply caring relationship that we lose our perspective on the crap and just wade through it all without thinking.  I was told again that I probably need to go get some medications to help me through it all.. but to me.. that's just as bad as taking drugs or alcohol to cope with the mental stress.. or going to a prostitute to alleviate my sexual frustration when I was so down about that... and I won't do any of it.. it's not a fix.. it just masks the issues.  It's nice to have things in our life to build us up.. but that artificial stuff is a lie.. it's like when someone tells you how great you look.. or how much they love you.. when you find out all along that it's not exactly the truth... but something they're doing or saying or stretching to just meet their needs. There is no cure-all solution for all the frustrating issues in my life.. and as intense as my hurting has been in the past, I know this doesn't compare.. and I'll get through it just fine. I will tackle my problems as I can.. when I can.. and things will settle down at some point.  I know I'll be okay.

I finally got my student evals done at work.. and I'm working on Training achievement records for the students.. I also have to work on my mid-year evaluation.. then our acting manager comes to me yesterday and says he needs me to do a department-wide self-evaluation before our main eval comes up in June-July. Well.. I told him I'd get to it if I'm able.. and I will but I am pretty sure I won't be able.. besides this is his responsibility.  Sure he has decided to delegate it.. and I'm one who can actually do it.. but it seems as though my abilities have earned me yet another assignment. I am not that modest of a person.. I know I can do much more than most people.. but that's because I have that sense of work ethic.  I'm not saying other people don't have it too.. it's just one of the driving forces in my life now since I'm pretty much failing in most other areas. I have just about reached my limit as far as my extra duty abilities though.. and if they want more from me.. tough.  Can't get blood from a turnip..

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