I'm Stuck.
I've had just a little trouble trying to sleep lately.. and I don't know why. Maybe it's my diet? I am not to my goal.... but I don't want to cause and irreparable harm to my body. I don't notice anything drastic in the way I am... but I should be able to lose the rest by eating more cautiously... I am toying with the idea of starting back to eating... at least a little bit.
I had a conversation about how my outlook on things has changed so much in the past few years... I was, at one time, a very passionate person.. very strong minded... and extremely responsive.. but a lot has changed in my life to make that person go away... I don't even miss it anymore.. We all tend to do what we must to adjust to the curves that life throws us.. I can't even say I don't miss it at all.. actually I rarely miss it.. so it might be buried deep inside of me.. the fact remains that I will never trust anyone again enough to actually let that person out. I am certain that some might think that we don't know who we will be in the future.. and what we are capable of.. and I agree.. but I refuse to take another chance if there is the remotest possibility that I might be destroyed as I was before... so.. don't bank on me changing.. because it just won't happen.
I am going to food commodities distribution with my students again today.. we will assist the elderly in the community and do our good deeds for the month.. I received my center report card yesterday.. and my trade was the only "A" ...that makes me a bit proud as it is not very easy to fall into that category.. and my program has done it.. I suppose that I should just concentrate on doing my job and letting most other things go.. I just try to go above and beyond because that's the type of person I am.
My dad... he pisses me off so badly sometimes.. He will start calling me in the afternoons about 20 - 30 minutes before I can answer the phone.. and I tell him time and again that I will call him when I'm free... so he says... "Okay... I'll just wait until you feel like calling me" ...I jumped down his throat about that passive aggressive comment. ...finally he apologized... but we'll see what happens there...
It just seems as though most aspects of my life are conflict.. It would be so nice to just go away from everything... but for just a little while longer.. I'm stuck.
I had a conversation about how my outlook on things has changed so much in the past few years... I was, at one time, a very passionate person.. very strong minded... and extremely responsive.. but a lot has changed in my life to make that person go away... I don't even miss it anymore.. We all tend to do what we must to adjust to the curves that life throws us.. I can't even say I don't miss it at all.. actually I rarely miss it.. so it might be buried deep inside of me.. the fact remains that I will never trust anyone again enough to actually let that person out. I am certain that some might think that we don't know who we will be in the future.. and what we are capable of.. and I agree.. but I refuse to take another chance if there is the remotest possibility that I might be destroyed as I was before... so.. don't bank on me changing.. because it just won't happen.
I am going to food commodities distribution with my students again today.. we will assist the elderly in the community and do our good deeds for the month.. I received my center report card yesterday.. and my trade was the only "A" ...that makes me a bit proud as it is not very easy to fall into that category.. and my program has done it.. I suppose that I should just concentrate on doing my job and letting most other things go.. I just try to go above and beyond because that's the type of person I am.
My dad... he pisses me off so badly sometimes.. He will start calling me in the afternoons about 20 - 30 minutes before I can answer the phone.. and I tell him time and again that I will call him when I'm free... so he says... "Okay... I'll just wait until you feel like calling me" ...I jumped down his throat about that passive aggressive comment. ...finally he apologized... but we'll see what happens there...
It just seems as though most aspects of my life are conflict.. It would be so nice to just go away from everything... but for just a little while longer.. I'm stuck.
Comments
Post a Comment